My Story

The chronicle of the journey from infertility, to miscarriage, to finally raising twin girls born in June 2012.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Still standing

Not much to report but you've all shown so much concern (thank you!) that I feel I should give everyone an update.

For the last 24 hours or so, I would describe any discharge or blood when I wipe to be of the "residue" category.  Brown, not much there, but it's consistently there.

I'm still doing the endometrin so I CONSTANTLY feel like I'm leaking.  I'm trying to limit myself to 1 wiping check per hour because any more than that and I'm going to wipe myself raw and that's a whole other category of discomfort.

Told one of my bosses today that I'm not going to be working for a while.  The doctors said it was fine to do pottery, but I also noticed that on the days I did nothing, no bleeding.  On the days I spent a lot of time at the wheel, bleeding.  So doctors be damned, I'm not doing it until I feel somewhat secure again.

However, my video work is picking up.  I currently have 2 video shoots scheduled for this week and the company that I get the gigs through called me to see if they could book another one on Thursday for me.  That's fine, but they need to call the clients and make the schedules work, I don't want to deal with that.  I know that sounds like work, but really, it's not that strenuous.  I interview someone on camera for a half hour and then I film them doing what they do for 45 minutes or so.  The rest is spent sitting at my computer putting it together.  I'm kind of looking forward to the one on Friday, it's a go-kart racing place.  So there should actually be some fun stuff to shoot.

In pregnancy symptom news, most of it has faded away.  Currently 7 weeks 4 days.

  • My digestion always has a general "not right" feeling to it.  A little on the hungry side, a little on the full side, a little on the queasy side, it can't really decide what side it wants to be on so it's on all of them at once.  But only a little.  
  • When I get hungry, I become starving all of a sudden.  
  • Oh!  Spent about 5 minutes last night sitting in front of the toilet wondering if I was going to have a repeat performance of Thanksgiving morning.  We really need to sweep the bathroom floor.  
  • I don't really get cramps anymore, but rather the occasional odd gurgle.  
  • Shoulders and upper back burn most of the time.  Don't know if that's a pregnancy thing or not.  
  • I seem to be low grade tired all the time, but never solidly sleep.  I seem to be up peeing all the time, or just on the verge of being awake at any given moment.  I don't feel like I'm really soundly sleeping.
  • It still has no dawned on me that there's a chance I'll make it past 10 weeks.  I'm not sure why.  On the other hand, I can't fully picture going through a miscarriage either.  So I have no hunches as to what's going to happen with this pregnancy.  For once, I simply can't figure out the future.

For the most part, I sit here, just kind of holding still because I'm afraid to jostle anything loose, playing cards on the computer, feeling like I'm leaking, and waiting until the hour goes by so I can see if it's endometrin goo or blood flowing into my underwear.  Real exciting life I've got going on here.

Question about bleeding while pregnant - if the cervix is closed, how does the blood escape?  Isn't that like trying to pour water out of a bottle with the lid screwed on?

Ultrasound tomorrow.


  1. Good news! Thank you for the update. As for the bleeding - how? - thing, yeah, I always wondered that, too. It's the most bizarre thing. At least what you're seeing is old blood and not new.

    So, question: how come, with infection in your loss history, they're making you use Endometrin instead of doing PIO injections in your behind?? My RE makes me do PIO regardless on medicated cycles, but given last time, we're going to severely limit what gets shoved anywhere up near my cervix (in addition to the two things you mentioned last time, I will also be limiting vaginal exams). Hell, I'm not even comfortable having sex anymore, and I'm not even pregnant yet.

  2. The only thing I've found on dr. google is for those that are a lot farther beyond your weeks. But here is the link....

    The only other article but not a medical site with genuine knowledge like a .edu or .gov is this one for you:

    Hope none of this scares you overly. Remember you can always give me a call to chat if need someone to vent to.

  3. @Amy Lagerquist Amy, I just don't know. I have progesterone oil and needles for it. We bought it for an FET that we never finished and then they changed protocols for my next treatment so it sits here unopened. I've asked several times if we could use that instead, partially so I wouldn't have to buy more endometrin and partly because I prefer the shots to the goo. But no, this is what they want me to use. I think it's a part of SRM just having protocols, individual circumstances be damned. That's why I don't like them. I really just want to graduate from them and get to my OB who's competent and cares.

  4. That is a weird protocol. Even for FET's my clinic always does injections. In my case my prog hasn't been high enough on the injections alone, so they've had me on both. (joy)

    Even when a cervix is closed, it is still pretty open enough to allow blood, fluids, and semen through. Good thing, too, because if they were closed that tight the REs would have to dilate us to do a transfer..OUCH.

    If the blood is mostly brown, it may actually be bleeding from your cervix because it is irritated by the suppositories. I hope that they at least consider switching you to injections when you go in on Tuesday. It really sounds like your cervix and vajajay could use a break. Thanks for keeping us updated! I'm glad to hear that nothing has gotten worse. Keep hanging in there! Ultrasound tomorrow :)
    ps When I had my crazy bleeding my doctor performed an US when it was all over to check the babies and he reminded me that Dr Wandy would probably make me bleed again and I was NOT to worry. Soo don't be surprised if after your US tomorrow you have more bleeding.

  5. You know, another thought regarding the suppositories - they can work just as well using the "back door" approach. Not cool, I know, but if it can help a) not irritate your cervix, if that's what's happening and b) not give you a reason to have any other foreign-and-potentially-sending-infection-upward objects inserted, it might be worth trying. Keep us posted on your u/s...and what happened to your most recent post? I SO wanted to comment after I read it in my Google Reader but it's not showing up on your blog!

  6. @Amy LagerquistYeah, I deleted that soon after I wrote it. I was ranting and raving about something that simply doesn't matter and I kind of made an ass of myself doing it.

    I found this to be true with the last pregnancy when I got about this far - I have no impulse control when it comes to reactions to people in forums. Things I wouldn't normally care about are just getting under my skin and I'm going a bit rampagey.

  7. I had a lot of bleeding with my twin pregnancy and I was told even through your cervix it sealed shut it is like a door it has its little openings around it so blood can leak by it.


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