My Story

The chronicle of the journey from infertility, to miscarriage, to finally raising twin girls born in June 2012.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Dear Anonymous

Hey guys!  I got my first "you suck" style comment!  I feel like a real blogger now!  Cuz you're not a real blogger until someone thinks you suck for some stupid reason and takes time out of their busy busy day to tell you so.

Here's what Anonymous had to say about my last post -

While I think it's great that you are FINALLY happy about SOMETHING, I think it's a shame that you were so cruel in the past, when it came to other pregnant women. How would you feel now, if someone says they hate you because of your pregnancy? Remember that song, Pregnant Women Are Smug?

So I shall respond.

Dear Anonymous,

Bwah ha ha ha ha ha!!!!  Really?  You're taking the time out to tell me that my miserable struggle wasn't a happy enough journey for you?  Ex-best-friend PR, is that you?  The idiocy of this post really does sound like you.

Pregnant people ARE smug.  PR sure was.  I certainly was.  And I most likely will be again.  Odds are, a lot of people are going to find me really irritating because of it.  Saying so isn't cruel.  Shoving a branding iron in someones eye is cruel, posting a silly little video that teases a very common annoying personality trait is hardly cruel.  And it's not like I went running around to pregnancy blogs making bitchy comments.  In what way have I been CRUEL?

People are perfectly welcome to hate me for being pregnant.  I said long before I got pregnant that I expect a few "fuck yous" to be flung my way when I get my baby.  I'm rather shocked that instead of losing readers by announcing my BFP, I actually gained 2.  I still expect many of my IF friends to get sick of pregnancy posts and drop me from their newsfeed if I'm lucky enough to continue making pregnancy posts for a few more weeks.  And I'll feel perfectly fine with that.  I've dropped other people from my reading list when they became a pregnancy blog because at the time, their experience was no longer relevant to mine.

However, I'm very curious as to your motivations.  Clearly you haven't just stumbled across my blog for the first time today and decided to comment.  You remember a post from a while back, and you know my blog well enough to know the general tone tends to not be a happy one.  And yet you've continued to read it.  And you've chosen to now tell me that I've been cruel in the past, to imply that I've been annoying you with all of my unhappy drama. Why haven't you mentioned these things before if they were bugging you or called me out for being cruel when I was actually being cruel?  And why, pray tell, have you chosen not to assign your identity to your crappy comment?  Most people would either just stop reading something that bugged them, or they would own up to their opinion when they expressed it, you have done neither.

So, Anonymous, who are you and what is your problem?

Smugly Pregnant in Infertility Land


  1. You got an anonymous troll attack?!? have arrived :)

    I hope that you become irritatingly smug. :) I, for one, LOVE that video and got a good laugh at your post. And I've got three kids. I think that cruel was definitely the wrong choice of words. Snarky? well, that fits, but who doesn't like a little snark?

  2. LOL! The first thing I thought when I read your opening paragraph was, "I wonder if it was the bitchy ex-BFF!" Wow, some people are so incredibly lame. I plan to continue to follow/live vicariously through you, at least for the time being. I had another setback today in my own journey (more about that on my blog in the next 30 minutes), but I hope to be joining you in pregs-after-loss land soon. :)

  3. I have been lurking and reading your blog ever since coming across some of your posts on BBC. I'm not struggling with IF, and my pregnancy loss was nowhere near as traumatic as yours, so I've felt a bit shy about commenting. But I can't help but keep following you because you're such a strong, articulate, funny person. I'm rooting so hard for you, because if anyone deserves to be a mom, it's you.

    Anyway, I just thought I'd come out from under my rock, so you don't think I'm the anonymous douche.


  4. I'm not the anonymous douche but I am forced to be anonymous due to some sort of blogger glitch.
    Seriously, if people can not look at all of life and find some semblance of humor somewhere, as you often have even if it is snarky, then they obviously don't live a life that is very happy.... at all.
    I as always admire the way you can find humor amidst a lot of emotional chaos and unknown future.
    Whoever made this comment doesn't have a sense of humor nor are they worth the time it would take to find one.
    At any rate.... you keep on keeping on and we'll either keep reading or bugger off. I intend to keep reading.
    AKA not the anonymous douche.

  5. Well its obviously not me. You know about my current loss and we still chat almost daily on-line. Heck, I've even linked your blog to mine at least twice. So, being a bit smug here, maybe I contributed to your added readership? Probably not but hey I'm allowed a bit of a smug moment too. I really hope your pregnancy results in a healthy baby but you already know that too.

  6. Great post! You are making me feel better about my trolls on my blog. Really trolls get a life...if you don't like a person's blog stop reading it!!!

    Congrats on your pregnancy and enjoy being smug!

  7. I just found out you are pregnant and I'm THRILLED!!!

    I'm not the troll by the way. I love your attitude. I've read a bunch of the stuff you write to others on babycenter and I always find myself completely agreeing.

    my favorite post all time of yours was the one about babies and the pastry shop. something like that. Too hard to oooh and ahhhh over brownies you can't have. That post was perfect.

    I finally got my rainbow baby after 4 years and too too too much pain.

  8. Dude, you've totally arrived! I can't wait until I get my first troll! :-)

  9. Hey I just wanted to let you know that I have been reading this since March when I had my last miscarriage at 15 weeks. I've had three- one at 17, one at 10 and then the last one in March. I have a beautiful son that is two that was born after my first miscarriage. I have hesitated to write earlier, but I had to now. I am rooting for you and this pregnancy with a feeling that no one knows unless they have been where we have been. Thank you for sharing your story of pain and hope. It has helped me and I am sure it has helped others. Best of luck, and I wish you a happy, healthy pregnancy.


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