This appointment was supposed to make me feel all better and prove what a silly git I am for panicking.
I still have the clot that was the cause (or result?) of my bleeding last week. It seems to be stable and not getting any worse, so, yay?
These kids are really far apart in there. Gives me hope that they are fraternal. My girls were right on top of each other from the very beginning.
So the doctor started by focusing on the one that was easiest to see. And it's measuring a few days behind. The largest measurement we got was 6 weeks 2 days (I should be 6 weeks 5 day) and she measured several times.
The other one was really difficult to see. I guess it's just really far up there so the ultrasound waves have to travel farther making the image fuzzier. As she was trying to get a good look, there were some fear moments that maybe it was just the sac and there was no baby inside. But she did eventually find it and confirm a heartbeat.
Both have heartbeats. No, I don't know what the rate is. I'll probably get details like that when the nurse calls me later and I'm in a better frame of mind to ask questions.
But what scares me is that we're in "wait and see" mode. I said "so it's not time to start celebrating yet?" and she replied "I'd hold off a little bit". Fuck.
Everything was so perfect with the girls, just absolutely textbook, that anything less feels insurmountable. This time there's spotting, a few days behind in growth, clots. How on earth am I supposed to have any faith that this is going to work out ok when absolutely perfect went to shit?