My Story

The chronicle of the journey from infertility, to miscarriage, to finally raising twin girls born in June 2012.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

The End

I'll try not go into horrific and gory detail while still briefly recounting the last 48 hours.

Around 10pm on Tuesday (Dec 21st) I started feeling what I thought was bad gas.  It gradually got worse and by 11:30pm there were other indications that I needed to go to the emergency room.  We got there around midnight and by then I was having contractions every 5 minutes or so.

We were able to stop the contractions within about an hour, they put me in a bed that held me tilted back.  For a couple of hours we discussed how I might be on bedrest for the next 20 weeks.

That is, until my water broke anyway.

Over the course of the next 3 hours, 3 different specialists came to the conclusion that the inevitable had begun and there are no procedures in existence that could save either baby.  We had thought all along that these were fraternal twins but during this time, we learned that they were in fact identical twins sharing the same placenta.

They had fallen victim to an infection of some sort that's undetectable until after it's too late.

The options were to do nothing and hope that the second baby could be saved.  But the doctors agreed that the baby was going to die and if we did nothing, all three of us would eventually die together.

The next option was to induce labor in order to expel them somewhat naturally, drastically increasing the chances that I would either endure a hysterectomy after birthing, or simply die on the table with the babies.

The third option was to surgically remove the babies and all other baby related material so that I could survive and still have a possibility of another pregnancy.

I will probably never be convinced that I would not have preferred option 1 but we went with option three.  I was in surgery by 1pm on Dec 22nd and recovering by 3pm.

Upon further investigation after the fact, it was confirmed that both babies were indeed infected and nothing could have saved either one.  Their gestational age was 18weeks 6days.

This blog will remain in tact for a short time so I can just give friends and family the link and not have to explain it again.  After that time, I will archive this blog and then take it offline.


  1. I don't know if I personally would have this kind strength to share this tragedy. With a heavy heart, I applaud you and your husband! Hugs to you both-Em

  2. Praying for your strength and peace as you both cope.

  3. Sending love and prayers for you and your husband. Such a sad loss.

  4. I am so very sad and sorry for your loss Alex. There are simply no good words for this.

  5. I'm so sorry Alex. Please take care of yourself xxxx

  6. I am SO sorry to hear this news. *hugs* Sweetie, I am here if you ever need to talk, vent, cry over the internet... whatever you need.

  7. I greive with you. Jim and I discuss having to live when our children died. Jim was the one who would have to make the choice. I could never, but we never had to choose. I cry for you and ask for healing and peace for you both. I am soo sorry. With love

  8. I'm so very sorry, Alex. As said above, there are no good words, but sending you and your husband healing thoughts and prayers.

  9. Alex, I am so, so sorry. I'm also sorry I can't say anything that will help.

  10. I am so sorry for you and your husband. I know how much you guys wanted these babies. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do for you.

  11. hugs to you Alex, I am so sorry.
    - Kayla


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