I want to be pregnant again, with twin girls, because I want them to be back. If I ever have a girl, I won't be able to help but feel like one of them is back. Charlotte, the big sister, and I'll expect Christina to follow a few years later.
I know that every baby is different and a new baby wouldn't really be one of my girls coming back, but just let me feel that way ok? It doesn't hurt anything.
I've always dreamed of little girls. And I've always tried to figure out what I would name them. And while K and I bantered quite a few names around before finally deciding on Charlotte and Christina, I've had those names in my head since I was 12. I thought I'd use Christina first and then maybe my little Charlie. I'm not sure how I came to be so firm with Charlotte before Christina though. Maybe because there was still a possibility of learning that Christina was actually Christopher at the next ultrasound.
That next ultrasound was actually scheduled for that day. At the time I was supposed to be seeing them as dancing blobbies on a screen, I was having surgery to remove them. Same damned time.
But I digress. I've always liked those names before they had been assigned to anybody. I just liked the arbitrary names.
But now that they were given to specific girls for a few days, can I still use them? Is it wrong to recycle the names that way? I just like the names.
And what about the whole monkey theme? These were our little monkeys. Is the next baby going to be getting monkeys as a leftover or can we still like just like monkeys because we like monkeys and still theme the nursery with them?