My Story

The chronicle of the journey from infertility, to miscarriage, to finally raising twin girls born in June 2012.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Why a month matters

Yeah yeah yeah, it's only a month.  What's the big deal?  I mean really, what does a month matter in the grand scheme of things?

Let me up this in terms that any parent will understand.

Imagine that your kids have just dropped dead.  And someone tells you "If you lose 20lbs this cycle, you'll have a 50/50 chance of getting them back.  If you fail to lose the weight, you have to wait another month to even try.  And every month that you fail to make the weight, your odds of succeeding in getting them back drop by 1-2%.  By the way, you can't allow the stress to affect you.  If you get stressed, your chances of success drop another 10%."

Still seem like it's only a month?  Just skip it and try next month?  Or does it suddenly seem very cruel that someone has just forced you into this situation?

My kids died.  I'm trying to get them back.  And I'm losing month after month after month for a variety of reasons.  So yes, a month matters, and it's a big deal.

5 comments:

  1. Can I take back my comment on the last post? I am so, so, sorry and didn't intend ANY disrespect. This fucking sucks, and it's blatantly unfair, and I'm sorry just doesn't seem to do it justice.

    Jo

    ReplyDelete
  2. @Jo
    No worries Jo. In the end, this might be for the best overall. My "period" started only 2 weeks after the period from my failed FET. It might not have been the optimal month to push forward anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm so sorry you're trapped in this Hell. I know how hard it is to wait. After 2 years of tests and 2 rounds of IVF, my RE decided that any more treatment for me would be a waste of time because of my fibroid. The same fibroid that I had test upon test about and that he swore was "no problem" for our ttc efforts. I was now 34 and I had to wait 3 months for the surgery to be scheduled, 3 months of Lup.ron to make the fibroid shrink, and over 4 months of recovery after the fact. All of this for a fibroid that was 'no problem' AAAArg. I could have killed that guy!

    Please, please don't think about the months you are losing. Take it from me, it will only drive you crazy. Months don't matter the way you think they do. If they did, I wouldn't have tried again at 37, and now at 41. Your odds of getting pregnant again are excellent. Just hang in there!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi I just randomly found your blog. I am really sorry for your loss. It just plain fucking sucks. And I saw this post here and I just totally get it. The amount of time I have spent waiting, especially after my miscarriage and having to start again it just pisses me off. A month is still a month where we don't have babies in our arms. Stay strong.

    ReplyDelete

Please share your thoughts! It makes me feel like I have friends.