My Story

The chronicle of the journey from infertility, to miscarriage, to finally raising twin girls born in June 2012.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Clarifying the weight issue

Ok, I'm not sure I've explained exactly why my weight is an issue.

When I did my IVF a year ago, my clinic was attached to a hospital.  So the egg retrievals for fat girls were done in the hospital, NOT the IVF office.  It cost extra, but at least it could happen.

Now that my clinic has merged with another clinic (merged is the wrong word, I think smothered by would be more accurate), they are no longer connected to the hospital.  At least not until the bureaucracies are ironed out.  So they don't have hospital facilities to perform the procedure when the patient is over a certain BMI and has higher risk factors of being under anesthesia.  According to the icy bitch anesthesiologist, if something were to go wrong, they couldn't deal with it, they would have to call 911.  Of course, that really makes me wonder if they should be doing anesthesia on ANYONE if they don't have the capabilities of dealing with it when it goes wrong.  But I digress.

So yes, there is a perfectly logical reason behind this. 

Do I give a shit about that perfectly logical reason?  Hell no!

They set a cut off point.  Is it determined patient by patient?  Nope.  Just a cut off point across the board.  For you see, if it was determined on a patient by patient basis, they would see that I've had this procedure before, when I was bigger, and they can see exactly how much anesthesia was used, how I personally responded to it, etc etc.  So there would be some wiggle room for a judgment call to be made.  I don't see how 5lbs would really change my odds of dieing or enduring brain damage under anesthesia.

But bureaucracies don't function on individual needs and circumstances.  It's all about numbers. 

Oh, did I mention that my doctor confirmed that this clinic is now indeed owned by a parent company who answers to their shareholders rather than pure medical facility?


So honestly, I really do see the validity to their argument.  To a point.

I also see a facility that advertises on the radio.  And that must have success rate numbers that are competitive with neighboring facilities.  And that yes, big girls do carry extra risk factors in terms of miscarriage, and other undesirable outcomes.  And those undesirable outcomes affect success rate statistics that make them competitive.  Don't treat the harder cases, don't have those failures on your record bringing down your numbers.

So yes, they have a point.  They also have a very strong motivation to stick to their numbers very rigidly rather than consider the circumstances and use that wiggle room to treat those of us who are more difficult to treat.

Whatever the reasons, whatever the validity, it still boils down to I'm too fat to be a mom.  I've been judged for a lot of things, but that one really hurts.

My doctor at the clinic is really fighting to get that connection to the hospital put back in place.  We were hoping the papers would be signed last week but negotiations are still hammering out.  I'm told that it's kind of slower than expected because it's summer.  Key players that need to sign papers go on vacations at different times during the summer so it's difficult to get them all around the same table at the same time.

And all I can think about today is that maybe my girls were the only chance at a family that I'll ever get.  One thing after another is costing me a month here, a month there.  I really miss my girls.


  1. I wish I could dive through the computer and just hang with you for a little while. What you are going through is so difficult and unfair, no matter how logical it all seems to be to the medical establishment.

    I commented on your last post about how my RE just up and decided that he wasn't going to let me undergo treatment anymore until my fibroid was removed. It was so unfair, and unexpected. I stuck with the clinic, and I'm glad I did, but is it possible for you to go to another clinic that is adjunct with a hospital? Could we write to RESOLVE and see if they can throw some weight around? I just wish that there was something we could do :(

    Try to have faith and keep your hopes up. (try being the operative word here). Remember, you do have one statistic in your corner. You have been a mother to twins, and once you have been a mother, your odds of getting pregnant again go up exponentially. (so does your chance of having twins, but we won't talk about that)

    Thinking of you.

  2. I'm so sorry Alex! You're in our thoughts definitely and we wish you the best and that the decision making people will get their asses in gear and make a decision.


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