Guess who came for a visit today!
Yes, my body has once again shunned all schedules and logic and decided to bleed in the middle of a provera regime designed to induce said period.
But I'm actually excited. It's weird. Maybe I just had too much caffeine this morning, but as soon as I discovered that my cycle had started, I got butterflies in my stomach and an actual "this is gonna happen!" feeling.
With my history, I'm afraid to express any hope or positive feelings out loud so I won't, cuz every time I actually feel like I'm finally going to have a family, it's taken away from me again. So.......I'm completely pessimistic about this cycle *squee!*, not gonna happen *hehe!*, no really, this is gonna be a total bust *OMG!*
I'm also nervous that for some reason, since I was only on day 4 of provera, for some reason AF showing up at the wrong time will prevent this from actually happening somehow. Half expecting a phone call tomorrow saying "nope, the provera is a bad start so we'll have to wait another cycle."
Approximate final date of weigh-in (at suppression check) - October 4
Weight today - 233.9lbs
Goal weight - 232.5
This can so happen! Oh wait, can't have hope, that jinxes it. Scratch that. This is totally gonna suck!