My Story

The chronicle of the journey from infertility, to miscarriage, to finally raising twin girls born in June 2012.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

And I was having such a nice day

Met with a fellow blogger today for coffee.

Honestly, I only intended to hang out for about an hour because I've got work to do, but I don't get the opportunity to talk in person very often, so I kept her at the table slightly longer than that.  I'm not sure she would choose to hang out with me again (though I hope she does) because, well, I'm not a very cheery person and I had a little trouble allowing her the time to get a word in edgewise.  I have so many stresses from so many different directions right now, and the only person I talk most weeks is K, and it's kind of pointless to unload on him sometimes because he's in the middle of the same stresses I'm under.  So when I suddenly had an audience, one that understands what my last couple of years have been like, I'm afraid she got buried in my verbal diarrhea.

I hope this is just my social anxiety talking and she enjoyed hanging out as much as I did.  But just putting it out there that I recognize the reasons why she may not have.

So that was lovely.

I got some work done tonight, so that was nice.

K got home and was too tired to cook so we hit McDonalds.  I got a milkshake with my big mac meal.  Hey, my weigh-ins are over!  Don't judge me!  So that was fun.

Logged onto facebook.  And suddenly, I'm not having a nice day anymore.

You see, a couple of girls in the classes behind me in high school (that were a part of my social group as fellow drama geeks), when I first got on facebook, I watched their first pregnancies progress into babies.  But that's when we were only kind of starting to TTC so no big deal.  One of them gave birth to her second (in a year!) a couple of weeks/months (I lose track) ago.  And tonight, the first thing looking out at me on my facebook page is the ultrasound for the other girl.

I'm no longer just the last one on the track, I'm being lapped.

Dear high school buddy who had her tubes tied,

At this rate, you might be the only person left on my facebook wall when the time comes for me to post an ultrasound.  Thanks in advance for never having any surprises that might make me feel like crap.  You are now forgiven for having a better career in my chosen field than I do.

Failing from all directions


  1. Sorry about your day. And you're not failing, you make beautiful pottery. I haven't gotten off my ass and painted or created anything in forever.

    If I were your FB friend you would NEVER have to worry about me posting an US pic, and I have no career to speak of anymore, so there's that :)

    I'm always afraid of verbally exploding onto people. I don't have any girl friends that I talk to on a regular basis, so when I do talk to someone I can't shut up. Or worse, we aren't going through the same stuff so I have nothing to talk about.

  2. i second chickenpig. You make beautiful things every day. That's amazing. FB is evil and should be ignored. And I'm glad you had a good time with BT! I'm so jealous about all of you US-Americans living close and getting to meet bloggy buddies. I want some of that action!
    Sending you huge hugs!

  3. For the record, I had a blast! I felt bad that I kept YOU out for so long! I figured you probably went home and was like "who was that chick? what a total weirdo..."

    I'm definitely looking forward to meeting up again in October :)

    I'm sorry that you had to get a gut-punch, what a crappy way to end the day! Sounds like time to snuggle your big orange kitty! (sorry, I forgot his name... I suck at names lol)


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