For the first time in my life, I saw a second line on a pregnancy test. It was really, really faint, but it was there.
Throughout my 20's and early 30's, I took a pregnancy test every 2-3 months if I was sexually active. Because of the PCOS, I can easily go 8-12 months without a period. Therefore, if I did get pregnant, I would have no natural indicators to tell me so. A skipped period wouldn't be noticed because for me, not skipping a period is what's odd.
And I was on depression medications that would be harmful to a fetus. So I tested every couple of months just to ensure that I wasn't harming someone by taking my medication every day.
Oh, and can I just mention how much money I spent that I didn't need to spend on those pregnancy tests? I had no idea that Wondfo tests existed. That I could get them in bulk, for about a quarter a piece. Nope, I was buying them at the drugstore in those three test packs.
Every test for more than a decade screamed at me that I wasn't pregnant. That there was no chance, no worries, goodbye. But one year ago today, I peed on a stick, and I squinted, and there was that hint of a magical second line. The next day, it was there, no mistaking it.
One year ago today, I learned that my long term belief that my body could never get pregnant was wrong.
I would love to know what that is like :) To pee on a stick and know you're pregnant instead of getting a call from a nurse. Either way, it is probably the purest happiness I've felt that I can remember. Thank you for sharing a memory.
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