I'm expecting a cycle start some time in the next week or so. Any day now really.
I've been freaking out because I'm still 4lbs above the weight limit for doing egg retrievals in the office. While I haven't been dieting hard core for the last month, I have been trying and instead of really losing weight, I've pretty much just maintained. Considering how my body should have snapped back and packed on several pounds after my marathon diet in July/August, I think the fact that I'm about half a pound below where I was when I ended that diet, I think I've done pretty damned good.
But pretty damned good doesn't move that scale to where it needs to be to satisfy the jerks in the anesthesia department. So I've been pretty scared. Scared that the month of September would be either back on the frantic diet which wouldn't be healthy at all (because I'm close enough to the goal to make it feasible if I just work hard enough), or admitting that I've failed and have to delay things another month.
I emailed my nurse (one of the few remaining people at the clinic that I actually still like) to get an update on when they expect to have a protocol in place for doing egg retrievals at a hospital for those of us too fat to have it done at the clinic. She consulted my doctor and he says that by the time I hit suppression check, the final date to determine whether or not I've made the weight, the protocol will be in place.
YESSSSSSSSS!!!!! Do you know what this means? This means I no longer have to look my husband in the eye and tell him that we can't have children because I can't control my cookie cravings!
Now, that also means that my cookie craving may cost us an additional $2k in hospital fees so obviously, I'm going to see if I can still make the weight. But I don't have to freak out about it, cry myself to sleep, or eat nothing but dressingless salads when the family goes out to fancy meals in the upcoming 2 weeks of mother-in-law visitation and my own mothers birthday celebration.
Instead of worrying about scale numbers, I can focus on keeping my body and mind healthy. Hopefully, concentrating on health will magically move the scale to the correct numbers anyway, but at least I don't have to sob into my pillow if it doesn't.