My Story

The chronicle of the journey from infertility, to miscarriage, to finally raising twin girls born in June 2012.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Finally said something I've wanted to say for years

I really hate those people that come door to door and try to convert you to their church.  I often come home to find some sort of religious pamphlet stuffed into the crack of my door.  And while I've searched each piece of paper for a phone number to tell them to not come onto my property again, oddly enough, there's never any contact information other than a time and place to go to a service.

On the rare occasion that they catch me at home, I'm always very polite and send them on their way.

But tonight, not so much.  I was already feeling argumentative so I decided that social convention can go to hell and if you're going to bother me, I'm going to tell you why I'm so friggin bothered.

First of all dudes, you are 2 men, probably in your 20's, dressed in dark clothing on your bikes.  And you approached a woman who was by herself, at night, in the dark, at the mailbox.  The fact that you were approaching me in the first place put me totally on guard as I didn't know if you wanted to mug me or what.

You politely asked if you could give me some information about your church.  This put me on guard for 2 reasons - 1)  If I interact with you, this might be a ruse to put you in a position to attack me, and 2)  I REALLY don't want to hear about your god right now.

I find this rude, and ill advised so fine, I'm going to be rude and ill advised in return.

So I told one of the guys flat out, in an angry, somewhat loud tone "I just had a miscarriage and I'm so pissed off at any version of god right now, that your church can shove it.  Please just be on your way."

One was very nice and said he was sorry for my loss and moved ahead a little bit but the other hung back and continued to try to engage me.  "I'm sorry for your loss, but if it's any help, I believe....."

And I put my hands up to stop him as he tried to convince me "No, this will help you..."

So I got angry and told him "You going from place to place and inflicting your beliefs on me is OFFENSIVE under the best of circumstances and downright intolerable right now under the worst.  Seriously, you need to move on."  And yes, that was a threat that I issued.

And I'm so angry that I'm shaking but he finally rides off.  And I get the mail and a wave of pain and tension goes through my body so I'm standing there for a moment unable to move as my lower back spasms out of control and my legs are about to buckle.

I deserve some credit here.  I was brief while I really wanted to give him 101 reasons why it's so wrong for his church to send him and his cohorts out into the neighborhoods try to convert me to their beliefs when we live in the land of the free.  And I really wanted to, was physically URGED to grab his face and twisting every piece of metal from that bike into a ring around his neck, but all he endured was an uncomfortable moment with an overly emotional woman.

They not only scared me by approaching me in the dark, but the anger he triggered caused me physical pain. 


Now I'm wondering if they are going to show up at my door as a part of the evening rounds they were already on.  My mailbox is on the corner, away from my house so they have no way of knowing what house the crazy lady lives in.  If there's a knock at my door, I might be a little less, reserved, than I was on the corner.

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