My growing security blanket

I'm gonna show you pictures of me!  I never do that!  But what I look like is actually relevant so here I go.

I haven't had a haircut in a while.  It's something I tend to avoid.  Not sure why really.  Probably because I have so damned much of it that getting a simple trim seems to take forever.  And I don't want them to cut it into something that I'll have to style.  I want to shampoo, condition, brush when I get out of the shower, and how it dries is simply how it's going to look.

And I've talked about the various issues I've been having with it since I lost half of it when pregnant with the girls and the aftermath of it starting to grow back in when they left me.  So since that last haircut, I just haven't touched it.

While I was shedding like crazy during my last pregnancy, I haven't lost any hair this pregnancy.  Boys, I'm telling you.  Everything about this pregnancy is different so it's gotta be boys.  PS - there's a slim chance I'll find out of that theory is correct on Monday.  Probably not quite far along to tell yet though, but maybe.

I've had bangs for most of my life though.  Personally, I find my face too round and blech without them.  But I let them grow longer than usual between cuttings and figured it had been so long since I had tried growing them out, I may as well give it a go now.  K actually prefers it this way.  The weirdo likes being able to see my face.

So here's where they currently are.

Why yes, I did crop those pictures.  I just think it's sad when you see someone holding up the camera in the mirror.  Even though it's obvious that's what I'm doing, at least allow me the delusion that you can't see the blue camera strap ok?  Besides, I made someone a promise that if I started doing belly pics, you would not be subjected to the contents of my bathroom counter or dirty laundry that always seem to be in the background of these things.

Ok, where was I?  Right!  How I currently look!  This is what my hair is doing when it's generally behaving.

Oh, and yes, many of these facial expressions were made strictly for your amusement and because even when I try to be normal, I'm just so not photogenic.  See that photo on the left there?  That's about as normal I can look in a picture.  Ok, now you know why out of almost 300 blog posts, you've hardly ever seen a picture of me.  I have issues.  Moving on.

Now, more often than not, that one stupid lock of hair that was my bangs hangs down directly in my eyes and just bugs the hell outta me.  So I've taken to doing the Amy Farrah Fowler most nerdy hairdo of just clipping them out of my eyes, vanity be damned!

And what the hell, let's complete the loser picture and include the "no one will take a picture of me so I'll take pictures of myself" camera shots!

The good news is that the shorter hair near the root is now long enough to just seem like it's an intentional layer.  It's almost shoulder length at this point I think.  In this pic, you can see the difference in size in the ponytail holders.  The big one is my usual hair, the smaller one is how much hair I had left after being pregnant last year.

My hair is doing so many things that I just don't know what to do with it.  I'm basically just tolerating its existence at this point.  On the other hand, I have long, thick, naturally blond, unchemically treated hair.  

So, what is this all leading up to?  I've made a decision.  

For the third time in my life, I'm going to donate it to Locks of Love.  It's currently long enough that if I were to cut off the minimum donation of 10 inches, it would fall just below my shoulders.  I've always regretted going shorter, but I can do shoulder length.  And if I'm going to have 2 babies to handle, well washing this mess makes my showers longer than they need to be, and cutting it off will cut my shower time in half.  And projectile poo and baby juices will have less hair to get icky in.  And little hands won't have as much to tug quite as quickly.

So when I get to 24 weeks, after I get another inch or two on this, and on the day that the doctor tells me that if I went into labor, there would be a chance of taking home babies instead of sadness, I'm going to the hairdresser, and I'm cutting it off.  That will be the confirmation to myself that having babies might actually happen this time.  I still can't get myself to believe it, but maybe by then I'll be able to.  And I'll walk around with a confirmation that I believe it.  And of course, I hope this will help someone else who's having a rough go of things since I don't have much else I'm able to give.