My Story

The chronicle of the journey from infertility, to miscarriage, to finally raising twin girls born in June 2012.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Dear Miss I Think I'm Having Twins,

I realize people think twins are cool.  But guess what - if your ultrasound indicates that you have one baby, even though you asked the technician to look for another one, YOU HAVE ONE BABY!

I don't care how much you've puked, how big your belly has gotten, or how hungry you are.  If you look inside your belly, and there is only one baby in there, a second one isn't going to magically appear at your next ultrasound because you have some nagging feeling that you have twins.

You WANT twins, that does not mean you have some sort of magical insight into your womb that the doctors and ultrasound technicians don't have.

Oh I know, you heard of some random strangers cousin who didn't know about the second twin until birth even though they had lots of ultrasounds.  And the heartbeats were in sync so they could only pick up one on the heart rate doppler.  Well some random stranger told me that her cousin was abducted by aliens too, and maybe that cousin even believes that, doesn't make it true, and it doesn't make it likely that ET is hanging out in YOUR storage shed.

You have one baby, just like all of the other normal pregnant women out there.  You're just being stupid and annoying, and it's obvious that your life revolves around how much attention you can garner which is why you want twins instead of the one that you actually have.  I come from a community that would kill or be killed to have what you've got, so stop being so disappointed with the miracle that you DO have.  

Be grateful that you can anticipate normal childbirth that will result in a healthy, breathing child, instead of constantly fearing premature labor, long stays in the NICU, and a higher risk of going home with no babies.

A true twin mom who's terrified


  1. That is utterly obnoxious- I hate the ones that truly believe that the u/s machine is wrong!!

    To be fair though- you did say you wanted to get pregnant with twins again, and before the u/s you were pretty sure there were two in there.

    Trust me- I understand why COMPLETELY. And LOVE that you were lucky enough to have both implant again. And love reading your updates. It's just funny how circumstance changes our perceptions, no matter the subject.

  2. @JM
    Yes, I recognize the hypocrisy, but here's the difference - I knew for a fact that I had 2 good embryos placed inside me and thus the potential for twins was there from the very beginning. During those first blood draws, my numbers were exactly the same as they were when I had confirmed twins. And twins were detected at the very first ultrasound, between 5 and 6 weeks in.

    So I had a bit of evidence to go on during those first couple of weeks when we didn't really know. It's the people I'm reading on my birth board who are having ultrasounds around 13 weeks and still think that the technicians are wrong because they have a "hunch" that are getting under my skin.

  3. This is really funny. BUT a mother in the school I was working at, someone I knew personally, did in fact have surprise twins. I have to say, though, that the medical care a lot of women get around here (a certain local hospital that I won't name because I'll be sued) is very poor, and frequent mistakes are made. The mother also wasn't particularly large, nor suspected a thing. The woman only got 1 ultrasound that I know of, and some women w/o good insurance get NONE. My brother's best friend has identical twin sons, and they didn't know she was pregnant w twins until 20 weeks, if you can believe that!

  4. It does get annoying watching people insist they are having a multiple pregnancy after they've had u/s. Today's science is pretty good and missing twins has got to be very rare! My mother found out she was having twins, by X-RAY, the day before my older brothers were born. Haha! That was back in 1965 though.

  5. I'm guessing BBC birth board drama? Damn women lol.

    I know someone else via the blogger world who didn't find out until her 17th week US or whatever. They videoed it. It was funny. "Do twins run in your family?" "WHAT?!"

    Up here at the Dr. I was planning on going to, they wouldn't have given me an US until 20 weeks... I'm gonna find a better Dr. who will order me one if I feel I need one. Even when I went to the ER before my miscarriage they didn't give me an US.

  6. @Allyssa You got to see that eh? Yeah, apparently someone came over here from BBC to tell me what an old, fat bitch I am. I hate it when people state the obvious so I deleted those comments :-)

    If you ever want a great early ultrasound, you should visit me, and then have an "emergency". The ultrasounds I've gotten at the ER have been far superior to those just upstairs at my OB.

  7. People came here to call you names from a board? Gah! I knew there was a reason I don't go to those anymore.

  8. Are you kidding me?! That's why I mostly stick to the private boards these days...I don't trust the random (mostly young!) girls who pop in and out. Give me my age group, with similar IF issues, and if they've had a loss, super bonus. At least they understand.

    I know my DH and I were 1) shocked and 2) scared to death when we saw our twins on u/s at 7w0d. I want to knock heads together now every time I see another (youngster, mostly) come screaming in wanting to know if they could be possibly having twins, OMG, b/c they want them so badly, or because they're so sick, or so huge, or so - whatever. Gag.

    Those girls have no.concept. of what a tragedy too large a percentage of multiples pregnancies end up to be.

  9. I used to hate it when random strangers used to say to me "Are you sure you aren't having twins?" When I was pregnant with my daughter. Yes, I AM sure...totally, completely, 100% sure there is only one. And yes, I am thrilled with that. (not so thrilled that I was bigger than I was w my twins, but that's a whole other story). Do ppl have some kind of size scale for how big pregnant women SHOULD be? Bleh!

  10. Alex, PLEASE post this on BBC. Give me something to look forward to this afternoon!

    Stacy (ecallaw1977)

  11. Like I said, I wasn't criticizing- you definitely had good reason to believe. Definitely.

    And I'm glad you did- like I said, very therapeutic. And I love reading about other people's obnoxious comments :)

  12. That is so fn funny, must have been that comment on the twins board

  13. Just ignore the annoying person behind the curtain that refuses to call you out in person but would rather do so behind the curtain of the internet. Alex, you don't need the stress. Walk away from those blog forums, have a chocolate bar and pet the cats. Okay, give me the chocolate bar and let me pet your cats. I need some cat therapy.

  14. I'm going to have to show this to my husband who is convinced that, despite the 4 ultrasounds showing ONE healthy baby, that we might just be having another one who is really good at hide and seek ;-)

  15. have no respect for those who that storie happened for real....the ultraspund never found my 2nd baby until my late please have a little respect...

  16. Obnoxious writing much? Yikes! Take a chill pill girl.

  17. oh my god. let people think and believe what they want. sometimes people wish for twins if they can get pregnant only once. not everyone wants it so fuckin easy with just one baby


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