My Story

The chronicle of the journey from infertility, to miscarriage, to finally raising twin girls born in June 2012.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

My new doctor

I have an issue with doctors.  And I know not all doctors deserve me to have issue with them, I've just had a few bad experiences.

It started with my gyno when I was a teenager.  We tested and tried for years to get that woman to diagnose why I had very few or no periods at all.  We would insist that a lack of or erratic periods were the symptom, and she would say that they weren't the symptom, they just were.  So the cause of my not having periods was that I just didn't have periods.  I desperately tried to get a reason out of her.  A hormone imbalance?  Did I just not ovulate very often?  WHY were my periods so few?  She just refused to come up with a cause and insisted that the symptom itself was the cause.

And being a fat woman, I'm often dismissed.  My problems are because of my weight.  While I agree to some extent, I can tell the difference between a fat problem and some other problem thank you very much.  I don't bother a doctor for a fat induced problem because I figure it's just my own damned fault and I kind of deserve whatever is bugging me.  So I get really irritated when a doctor barely looks at me, doesn't listen, and goes straight into the diet and nutrition routine.

I now have a really awesome GP by the way.  So I'm not completely prejudiced.  I do recognize a good doctor when I find one.

And after my appointment today with my new OB, I'm not sure what I think.  It's clear he's very qualified.  He used to specialize in extremely problematic pregnancies (from crack addicts and the like) and he's cared for and delivered more twins than he can count, so someone as simple as me will be a walk in the park for him.

But I dunno.  Just kinda seemed, like he was listening for keywords in my questions so he could access his database for the answers.  I mean, on the outside, he was listening and was addressing my concerns very specifically, but yeah, I dunno.  He wasn't exactly in a rush to get out the door, but I didn't get that warm, fuzzy, I really want to get to know my new patient feeling from him either.

It's possible that I have a handsome prejudice.  He's rather good looking, slick black hair.  I saw him pass by a few times when I was in the waiting room, and I was kind of hoping that wasn't him because he had that slick lawyer look to him.  Not that I dislike lawyers, my dad was a lawyer and now a judge and he's awesome, but I'm stereotyping here so just go with it.

I tend to associate handsome with conceited, arrogant jerk.  And the last thing I want my doctor to have is an ego.  If any professional has an ego, they are limited by their own knowledge.  If they don't have an ego, they have access to the knowledge of everyone around them and every resource available because they will immediately consult and ask.  So I'd rather have a new guy with no ego than an old pro with a big ego.

So even though the doctor didn't display any of these negative qualities, my prejudices are preventing me from feeling 100% happy with him after my appointment today.

K disagrees.  He got all of the answers to questions that he wanted and felt that the doctor was just great.  I'm hoping I feel that way after my next appointment in a couple of weeks but we'll see.

1 comment:

  1. I completely understand this post! (except the whole pregnant/OB think -- not part of my life) But I do agree when it comes to new doctors. I always start out with a paranoid attitude that they'll take one look at my oversized body and say just lose weight and all will be perfect.

    Just started with a new primary doctor a few months ago -- and I like her. She brought up the weight, but actually listened to me and made a few new suggestions. I also started seeing a specialist - but I fired her right before this month's appointment. Couldn't warm up to her at all....and she was not helping.

    I hope with time you'll feel comfortable with the new OB - time will tell. But, trust your instincts if you still feel uneasy.


Please share your thoughts! It makes me feel like I have friends.