The prozac isn't working for me. I felt a little better mentally for a moment, and then some side effects started kicking in. I felt even more drowsy than usual, and a bit dizzy.
Tuesday night, K gave me 2 solid 5 hour chunks of sleep. A total of 10 hours interrupted once so I could pump. And yet the drowsy and the clutziness didn't get any better.
Wednesday was day 7 of K working straight. All day I was trying to sleep when the kids slept, but I would lie down for 5 minutes, that wave of drowsy and drifting into sleep would wash over me, and a kid would scream and get me up. When you allow that wave to hit and you get up in the middle of it, you just feel 10x worse. I did that several times throughout the day.
Halfway through the day, both kids were screaming, Charlotte was refusing to eat even though it had been a long time since her last bottle, I knew she was hungry, and Tina was spitting up whatever she ate. I started crying and wailing along with them after being unable to soothe them, and then I started crossing that line from frustrated and into pissed off. So I put them down, walked away for a few minutes, and then came back.
But this time, when I walked back, I wasn't any less pissed off than when I had walked away. Honestly, I was so drowsy, and somewhat dizzy, and now angry, I was feeling drunk. There's a reason I don't drink, I don't like feeling drunk.
Crying, I called a friend of mine and asked her to come over. It was only 3 hours until I expected K home, but my candle had burnt out. I really did not have 5 more minutes in me, and I really felt impaired with tiredness. So she and her husband came over and each took a baby, while I puttered around doing some other chores until K got home. When I accidentally broke a glass when rinsing some dishes, I knew that I had done the right thing by calling friends over and not trying to hold a baby.
After K got home, I went into the bedroom and cried. Couldn't even pull it together to say goodbye to my friend when she left.
Back to the doctor on Monday to find an alternative to prozac and I've stopped taking it in the mean time. Still feeling tired, but not nearly as tipsy as I was.