I had a moment of click where it dawned on me that it's real that there are babies with me where ever I go. I'm still fighting off that final click when this all becomes real. I'm simply not ready to jump over that emotional cliff, but it's becoming a little harder to fight every day. Did the official announcement on Facebook and that just feels like it's inviting disaster.
I did go back and read my blog from this point in my first pregnancy. There are some very reassuring differences.
When I was approaching 16 weeks, I was complaining of incontinence and a persistent nagging cough I had developed. I was talking about the doctor having me come in to test for a UTI and stuff to make sure the incontinence was baby based and not illness based. This time, I'm still pretty leak free and I don't have any kind of cough. So those first potential symptoms just aren't there this time.
A lot of times, I'm almost feeling like my crotch is pushing itself out, which of course totally freaks me out. I'm running my finger across my crotch more often than I'd like to admit to make sure there's no sac trying to make its escape. In reading other people complaining of this, it's pretty common and it's likely because a baby is lying low across the cervix putting pressure there. In my case, we're actually hoping for that. The subchorionic hematoma is located very near the cervix and we're kind of waiting for the babies to get heavy enough to sit on it, and put some pressure there to hopefully help stop the wound from bleeding anymore.
But the sensation is still rather terrifying given my history. I keep having to remind myself that I was feeling contractions and trying push out a BM pretty darned hard for 2 or 3 hours before the sac began to emerge. It didn't just randomly fall out of my body last time, and it's certainly not going to this time.
Ok, 17 week symptom break-down:
- Abdomen is still sore and generally heavy. Feels like I've got a gallon of water swinging around in my belly.
- Still have a decent sense of smell but it doesn't seem as bad as it was before.
- Nose still stuffed up.
- Today is day 19 of consistent, but small amounts of dark brown bleeding. Just fabulous.
- Still not sure I'm feeling movement. I can tell that there's something going on, but then I'll feel the same gurgle elsewhere so it can't be baby. Can't tell if I'm feeling my own pulse around the uterus, dinner moving along its digestion course, or babies twisting around. Until I can be sure, I'm gonna say I don't think I feel any movement yet.
- Not sleeping real well. Getting up to pee a lot, and just generally uncomfortable.
- I get tired really fast. The few times I've gone out to the pottery studio, I get completely exhausted and have to give up somewhere around hour 2.
- I'm hungry every 2 hours.
- Occasional heartburn and headaches.
In other news, we've learned that what K was suffering from 2 weeks ago was Salmonella poisoning! OMG! A few of our GP's patients all got it at the same time so various health departments are in contact with K trying to narrow down the source.
We've determined that it can't be anything from our fridge because there's nothing that's been in there that I haven't eaten and I didn't get sick. So that narrows it down to a fast food place he ate at without me, and potentially the buffet we went to. Our plates were similar, but maybe he ate something that I didn't. We're a bit freaked because we've been so careful about proper food prep, keeping raw meats separate from other foods, etc, and yet I still only narrowly escaped while he got hit.
And that's how things are going as I approach 17 weeks!