Well, 21w3d and I'm still very pregnant. And getting more pregnant every day.
I'm officially waddling. I'm making grandpa noises when I get up off the couch. I'm huffing and puffing when I do anything even remotely active.
I think the nesting is starting to set in. Everywhere I look, I see little chores that need to be done. And I'm starting to think about what stuff we're going to need to get, at which point I get overwhelmed with how much I don't know about what babies need, and so I procrastinate on thinking about that for a while more.
And I'm not sure, but I think a baby kicked me awake this morning. I'm still not really feeling definite baby movements, but as I woke up this morning, I thought I felt some thumping on my lower left. When we played with the doppler tonight, K was trying to find the first baby and I thought I felt some movement so I pointed and said "try right there". Sure enough, that's where it was!
Most of all though, my body just wants to empty out. I constantly feel like I have just drunk a gallon of water and it's just sitting in there, sloshing around, dragging my torso down, mixing with gas, and body interprets that as "go to the bathroom" in an attempt to feel better. But obviously what I'm full of is nothing that can be relieved by a bathroom break, though I'm certainly taking more than my fair share.
Big triumph for me - I ordered some maternity clothes. While my usual wardrobe fits at the moment, I'm unbuttoning a lot and the maternity pants that I have yet to grow into are a size 24. I was a size 18-20 when I got pregnant this time. Yes, I'll be able to get my body into those pants, but odds are they won't fit right because my starting size was smaller so the weight distribution is different from the design of those pants. So I ordered 2 pairs of maternity pants and a couple of maternity tops in what I think my size was when I started this pregnancy. It feels so wrong to spend money on something for me, that I'll only need temporarily, when I could probably make due with what I already have, but....*sigh*...I think it needed to be done.
Showing posts with label 2nd trimester. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2nd trimester. Show all posts
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
20 weeks
Well, we've passed 20 weeks! Woot! I've got pictures, I've got video, I've got info! Lots of randomness in this post so I'll try to break it up into topics. The real baby stuff is the last section if you want to skip down to there.
*** My hubby, Mr. Quiet ***
K has been to every single doctors appointment since this IVF attempt began. Yes, every single blood draw, every internal exam, he's there for all of it. Like I said before, I married good! I'm not good at dealing with doctors because the doctors I saw when I was younger, they were all real pricks. Dr. C and my GP are very different from the pricks, but ya know, old habits of closing off and being on guard, they die hard. So K goes with me, especially now that I have the addition of hormones to add to my usual issues, partially just to keep me company and to endure the scheduling challenges with me, and partially to remind me of questions and to remember the answers since odds are I won't remember them correctly.
He talks a lot to me. So I forget that when he's not in his own territory, and an OB's office is NOT his territory, he pretty much just listens. Doesn't say a word.
So Dr. C's nurse, we'll dub her RNA (as in Nurse A, but NA is too close to N/A and I don't want to be insulting), she comes in and we're talking about how I passed the glucose test. She gives the remark "I should have told you to celebrate with some cake or something!" and K replies "Oh, she did."
RNA - "He actually speaks!"
Yup. That's my man. A man of few words. And those few words are usually some witty remark that make you realize that he's been paying attention to everything all along.
*** Dr. C ***
Dr. C said he would check my blog to see how I interpreted my appointment today. I told him that now that I know he reads this, I'm probably never going to talk about him again! But that just wouldn't be any fun at all, now would it?
So, Dr. C, yes, you got rid of your old shoes, but your current shoes are now becoming old shoes, so says the woman who wears moccasins out in public. Personally, I vote you keep your comfy shoes. As mine start getting holes, they become shoes for the pottery studio until they are so worn out and covered in mud that they walk themselves into the garbage can! Clearly I have my fashion priorities, if it ain't comfy, it ain't worth it.
I was going to campaign to see if I could convince you to go blond because that would just be hysterical, but I won't inflict such a joke on the woman who got you to get rid of your old shoes. If it were just you, I might be evil and convince you that you could totally pull off being a blond (bwahahahahah!) but nope, can't do it now. Damn conscience!
Ok, actual information that I took away from the appointment today other than the important stuff about the babies in the final section of this post - because anemia is common, I'm going to start taking an iron supplement with a vitamin C supplement as a preventative measure. So I guess with extra iron, I'll also be adding metamucil and fiber gummies back into rotation to make sure I poo again at some point. We're also going to keep me on a low dose of metformin since it might be what's holding off the diabetes and there's no reason not to take it.
I seem to be eating enough, which I was a little concerned about since I'm having to make a real effort to do so. I'm so sick of food! No, I guess I'm not really sick of food, I'm sick of the going to the fridge and figuring out what to eat process. If someone just puts food in front of me, I'm generally happy to eat some of it, but only being able to eat a little at a time and needing to eat several times per day, it's just frustrating. But according to my book, my weight is on track, and Dr. C hasn't said anything about the rate of my weight gain so I guess I'm doing it right.
And of course, I forgot to ask about the headaches. Probably because I didn't have one for that particular hour. And I forgot to ask about these little heart races. Or, I'm not sure if my heart races, or just needs to pump harder for a few minutes, but I'm sometimes getting the feeling like a random bit of adrenaline is suddenly flowing through me. Yeah, I forgot to ask, I'm a dork. Others on my pregnancy forums are complaining about headaches and I understand that during pregnancy the heart has to work harder due to increased blood volume, so I'm going under the assumption that both of these things are normal. I'll be back in 2 weeks so I can ask then. I was social enough to chat about politics, but too brain dead to remember my actual relevant questions. *sigh*
*** Size ***
First, let's check on the belly progress, shall we? Again, we'll start with the 10 week picture because it's still difficult to determine what is fat and what is babies without a starting reference.
Never in a million years would I have looked at that 10 week picture and thought "gee, I was thin!" but that's what I'm doing!
Ok, so here's the thing - when I started going to the fertility clinic, I was at my very fattest, 266lbs. After a couple of months on metformin, I lost some weight and kind of hung out in the 250-255lbs range. I only ever bought 1 pair of comfortable jeans for the 266lb me, but I had a full wardrobe for the 255lb version. I got pregnant with Girls 1.0, moved up into my 266lbs fat pants, and for about a week was starting to wear a pair of maternity jeans.
When I got home after losing them, my weight was once again peeked at 266lbs. Over the next 2 weeks, it dropped down to 248lbs where I hung out for a while, and had to dig out my "thin" wardrobe that I hadn't worn in years. Then the fertility clinic changed all their rules and decided I couldn't get pregnant again until I got my fat ass below 232lbs, so I worked my ass off to get there, and bought 2 pairs of smaller jeans as my body shrank simply so I could get dressed without my pants falling off. I had no intentions of keeping that weight off which is why I only bought the bare minimum to dress myself.
I started this pregnancy somewhere around 235lbs. I'm back up to about 256lbs, and have just grown back into what I consider to be my "normal" wardrobe. I still have some weight to gain before I get out the fat pants, and even more before I get out the maternity jeans. And being a fat person all along, lord knows I have plenty of tops that will serve just fine as maternity tops. So why my mother came by to try on some maternity tops that she bought me, I'll never know! I appreciate the thought Mom, but there's a chance I won't need anything more than the wardrobe I already have!
*** Employment ***
It looks like I'm ready to unemploy myself. I left my pottery gig because the potty breaks, and being exhausted just didn't make production feasible. Left on good terms though, I'll have that job when I want it back.
The video gigs have started up again after being slow for more than a year, and I'm finding that I can't keep doing it. The video stuff was ok for a while, but the last couple of weeks, I just feel like crap when I get home from a job. The lugging around of equipment just doesn't feel like something I should be doing. And I'm moving slower than usual so a job that's supposed to take 90 minutes is taking 2 hours. K went on a job with me yesterday and he did all of the equipment lugging, and he agrees, it's time for me to stop. Sometimes it's no big deal, but sometimes it's grueling, and there's simply no way of predicting which kind of job you're walking into. I have 2 more jobs booked, one of which is likely to be cancelled, and then I'm done until the kiddos are ready to be without me for a couple of hours at a time.
I have a very part time admin job that I'll keep. It's about 2 hours per week, and not even every week, but it's just nice to be useful somewhere even if the paycheck really only covers the gas. And another friend has hired me to take edit notes for her video shoot this weekend, and that has no physical requirements at all so I can do things like that. I'm hoping more little gigs like that will trickle in so I'm not completely throwing us under the financial bus.
But, bigger picture - not working for a few months to make sure the kiddos get here ok, that's still cheaper than another IVF attempt if I keep working and harm the kiddos doing so!
*** 20 week anatomy scan ***
Ok, I know that this is what you're all really here for. It's not about me, it's about the babies, so let's get to it!
It's been a week of good news. All I have is good news. I'm so out of my element here!
I'm still just gobsmacked that I didn't fail my glucose test and get to assume I don't have diabetes for another 2 months. I am going to start checking my blood sugar levels when I wake up so we can just be sure that everything stays ok before I take the test again at 28 weeks. Lucky me still has my handy dandy blood poking kit that I was taught how to use in my last pregnancy.
Let's check in on the little ones, shall we? The pictures and videos are getting a little more blobby again. Mostly because they no longer have much room to lay all nice and profile for the camera. So the cuteness factor is a little diminished. Today they were mostly curled up pretty tight, ankles crossed. But there's some cute swallowing action from Baby B at about 1:15 in the video.
The ultrasound was scheduled to last 20 minutes, but it took us about an hour. They were being a bit difficult to measure and today was the anatomy scan where they do tons of measurements.
We did finally got a proper potty shot of Baby B and it's confirmed, we've got 2 girls! The technician says there's always a margin of error, but yeah, both girls.
They both of brains! And kidneys! And hearts with 4 ventricles! They are developing properly, no abnormalities!
Size wise, there are 2 things that we look for. First, we want them to measure above the 10 percentile in terms of general size. The percentiles are standardized for singleton pregnancies and it's just generally understood that twins are going to be smaller, which is why being above only 10% is acceptable. Second, you want the twins to be growing evenly. You don't want one at 10% and the other at 40%. Mine?
Measuring at 43% and 44% (aka average size for a singleton!) and a size differential of 0%!
Dr. C says that a differential of 0% is unheard of (as in exceptionally great) and that average singleton size is really healthy for twins.
The last 2 things to look at are cervix length, and the state of the SCH.
In the book I'm generally referring to throughout the pregnancy, When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads: Proven Guidelines for a Healthy Multiple Pregnancy
, says that at the 20 week scan, if you have a cervix length of 2cm or more, it's likely that you will carry to term. So I went in today with a very specific goal in mind. Did I achieve this goal? 4.6cm bitches! Boo-yah!! I can't really pull off "boo-yah" can I? Yeah, let's move on.
And now, the state of my bleed. The nemesis of this pregnancy. The ER Trip Generator. I haven't bled for 2 weeks now. And the SCH is about half the size it was at the last few checks, so it's pretty much getting squished out of existence at the moment. I'm not going to tempt the fates and declare anything about it being solved, or gone, or anything like that which might be interpreted by the universe as predicting the future in any way, but there ya go. Half the size it was, and haven't been bleeding for a while. Take from that what you will!
The babies are healthy. They are the right size. They have all of their parts and those parts are functioning properly. I don't currently have any diseases or other issues that is threatening their well-being. I'm still not really feeling their movements, but I'm sure feeling my skin stretch so I have that to tell me that they are still growing every day.
So I'm having a pretty good day today.
*** My hubby, Mr. Quiet ***
K has been to every single doctors appointment since this IVF attempt began. Yes, every single blood draw, every internal exam, he's there for all of it. Like I said before, I married good! I'm not good at dealing with doctors because the doctors I saw when I was younger, they were all real pricks. Dr. C and my GP are very different from the pricks, but ya know, old habits of closing off and being on guard, they die hard. So K goes with me, especially now that I have the addition of hormones to add to my usual issues, partially just to keep me company and to endure the scheduling challenges with me, and partially to remind me of questions and to remember the answers since odds are I won't remember them correctly.
He talks a lot to me. So I forget that when he's not in his own territory, and an OB's office is NOT his territory, he pretty much just listens. Doesn't say a word.
So Dr. C's nurse, we'll dub her RNA (as in Nurse A, but NA is too close to N/A and I don't want to be insulting), she comes in and we're talking about how I passed the glucose test. She gives the remark "I should have told you to celebrate with some cake or something!" and K replies "Oh, she did."
RNA - "He actually speaks!"
Yup. That's my man. A man of few words. And those few words are usually some witty remark that make you realize that he's been paying attention to everything all along.
*** Dr. C ***
Dr. C said he would check my blog to see how I interpreted my appointment today. I told him that now that I know he reads this, I'm probably never going to talk about him again! But that just wouldn't be any fun at all, now would it?
So, Dr. C, yes, you got rid of your old shoes, but your current shoes are now becoming old shoes, so says the woman who wears moccasins out in public. Personally, I vote you keep your comfy shoes. As mine start getting holes, they become shoes for the pottery studio until they are so worn out and covered in mud that they walk themselves into the garbage can! Clearly I have my fashion priorities, if it ain't comfy, it ain't worth it.
I was going to campaign to see if I could convince you to go blond because that would just be hysterical, but I won't inflict such a joke on the woman who got you to get rid of your old shoes. If it were just you, I might be evil and convince you that you could totally pull off being a blond (bwahahahahah!) but nope, can't do it now. Damn conscience!
Ok, actual information that I took away from the appointment today other than the important stuff about the babies in the final section of this post - because anemia is common, I'm going to start taking an iron supplement with a vitamin C supplement as a preventative measure. So I guess with extra iron, I'll also be adding metamucil and fiber gummies back into rotation to make sure I poo again at some point. We're also going to keep me on a low dose of metformin since it might be what's holding off the diabetes and there's no reason not to take it.
I seem to be eating enough, which I was a little concerned about since I'm having to make a real effort to do so. I'm so sick of food! No, I guess I'm not really sick of food, I'm sick of the going to the fridge and figuring out what to eat process. If someone just puts food in front of me, I'm generally happy to eat some of it, but only being able to eat a little at a time and needing to eat several times per day, it's just frustrating. But according to my book, my weight is on track, and Dr. C hasn't said anything about the rate of my weight gain so I guess I'm doing it right.
And of course, I forgot to ask about the headaches. Probably because I didn't have one for that particular hour. And I forgot to ask about these little heart races. Or, I'm not sure if my heart races, or just needs to pump harder for a few minutes, but I'm sometimes getting the feeling like a random bit of adrenaline is suddenly flowing through me. Yeah, I forgot to ask, I'm a dork. Others on my pregnancy forums are complaining about headaches and I understand that during pregnancy the heart has to work harder due to increased blood volume, so I'm going under the assumption that both of these things are normal. I'll be back in 2 weeks so I can ask then. I was social enough to chat about politics, but too brain dead to remember my actual relevant questions. *sigh*
*** Size ***
First, let's check on the belly progress, shall we? Again, we'll start with the 10 week picture because it's still difficult to determine what is fat and what is babies without a starting reference.
 |
| 10 weeks |
 |
| 20 weeks |
Ok, so here's the thing - when I started going to the fertility clinic, I was at my very fattest, 266lbs. After a couple of months on metformin, I lost some weight and kind of hung out in the 250-255lbs range. I only ever bought 1 pair of comfortable jeans for the 266lb me, but I had a full wardrobe for the 255lb version. I got pregnant with Girls 1.0, moved up into my 266lbs fat pants, and for about a week was starting to wear a pair of maternity jeans.
When I got home after losing them, my weight was once again peeked at 266lbs. Over the next 2 weeks, it dropped down to 248lbs where I hung out for a while, and had to dig out my "thin" wardrobe that I hadn't worn in years. Then the fertility clinic changed all their rules and decided I couldn't get pregnant again until I got my fat ass below 232lbs, so I worked my ass off to get there, and bought 2 pairs of smaller jeans as my body shrank simply so I could get dressed without my pants falling off. I had no intentions of keeping that weight off which is why I only bought the bare minimum to dress myself.
I started this pregnancy somewhere around 235lbs. I'm back up to about 256lbs, and have just grown back into what I consider to be my "normal" wardrobe. I still have some weight to gain before I get out the fat pants, and even more before I get out the maternity jeans. And being a fat person all along, lord knows I have plenty of tops that will serve just fine as maternity tops. So why my mother came by to try on some maternity tops that she bought me, I'll never know! I appreciate the thought Mom, but there's a chance I won't need anything more than the wardrobe I already have!
*** Employment ***
It looks like I'm ready to unemploy myself. I left my pottery gig because the potty breaks, and being exhausted just didn't make production feasible. Left on good terms though, I'll have that job when I want it back.
The video gigs have started up again after being slow for more than a year, and I'm finding that I can't keep doing it. The video stuff was ok for a while, but the last couple of weeks, I just feel like crap when I get home from a job. The lugging around of equipment just doesn't feel like something I should be doing. And I'm moving slower than usual so a job that's supposed to take 90 minutes is taking 2 hours. K went on a job with me yesterday and he did all of the equipment lugging, and he agrees, it's time for me to stop. Sometimes it's no big deal, but sometimes it's grueling, and there's simply no way of predicting which kind of job you're walking into. I have 2 more jobs booked, one of which is likely to be cancelled, and then I'm done until the kiddos are ready to be without me for a couple of hours at a time.
I have a very part time admin job that I'll keep. It's about 2 hours per week, and not even every week, but it's just nice to be useful somewhere even if the paycheck really only covers the gas. And another friend has hired me to take edit notes for her video shoot this weekend, and that has no physical requirements at all so I can do things like that. I'm hoping more little gigs like that will trickle in so I'm not completely throwing us under the financial bus.
But, bigger picture - not working for a few months to make sure the kiddos get here ok, that's still cheaper than another IVF attempt if I keep working and harm the kiddos doing so!
*** 20 week anatomy scan ***
Ok, I know that this is what you're all really here for. It's not about me, it's about the babies, so let's get to it!
It's been a week of good news. All I have is good news. I'm so out of my element here!
I'm still just gobsmacked that I didn't fail my glucose test and get to assume I don't have diabetes for another 2 months. I am going to start checking my blood sugar levels when I wake up so we can just be sure that everything stays ok before I take the test again at 28 weeks. Lucky me still has my handy dandy blood poking kit that I was taught how to use in my last pregnancy.
Let's check in on the little ones, shall we? The pictures and videos are getting a little more blobby again. Mostly because they no longer have much room to lay all nice and profile for the camera. So the cuteness factor is a little diminished. Today they were mostly curled up pretty tight, ankles crossed. But there's some cute swallowing action from Baby B at about 1:15 in the video.
The ultrasound was scheduled to last 20 minutes, but it took us about an hour. They were being a bit difficult to measure and today was the anatomy scan where they do tons of measurements.
We did finally got a proper potty shot of Baby B and it's confirmed, we've got 2 girls! The technician says there's always a margin of error, but yeah, both girls.
They both of brains! And kidneys! And hearts with 4 ventricles! They are developing properly, no abnormalities!
Size wise, there are 2 things that we look for. First, we want them to measure above the 10 percentile in terms of general size. The percentiles are standardized for singleton pregnancies and it's just generally understood that twins are going to be smaller, which is why being above only 10% is acceptable. Second, you want the twins to be growing evenly. You don't want one at 10% and the other at 40%. Mine?
~~~~~~Drum roll please!~~~~~~
Measuring at 43% and 44% (aka average size for a singleton!) and a size differential of 0%!
Dr. C says that a differential of 0% is unheard of (as in exceptionally great) and that average singleton size is really healthy for twins.
The last 2 things to look at are cervix length, and the state of the SCH.
In the book I'm generally referring to throughout the pregnancy, When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads: Proven Guidelines for a Healthy Multiple Pregnancy
, says that at the 20 week scan, if you have a cervix length of 2cm or more, it's likely that you will carry to term. So I went in today with a very specific goal in mind. Did I achieve this goal? 4.6cm bitches! Boo-yah!! I can't really pull off "boo-yah" can I? Yeah, let's move on.And now, the state of my bleed. The nemesis of this pregnancy. The ER Trip Generator. I haven't bled for 2 weeks now. And the SCH is about half the size it was at the last few checks, so it's pretty much getting squished out of existence at the moment. I'm not going to tempt the fates and declare anything about it being solved, or gone, or anything like that which might be interpreted by the universe as predicting the future in any way, but there ya go. Half the size it was, and haven't been bleeding for a while. Take from that what you will!
The babies are healthy. They are the right size. They have all of their parts and those parts are functioning properly. I don't currently have any diseases or other issues that is threatening their well-being. I'm still not really feeling their movements, but I'm sure feeling my skin stretch so I have that to tell me that they are still growing every day.
So I'm having a pretty good day today.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Entering Uncharted Waters
Today marks 18w6d. At this time in my last pregnancy, I was waking up from surgery, deflated belly, and not happy about either of those facts. This time, I'm still pregnant, I'm not in the hospital, and as an added bonus, I'm not bleeding.
Yesterday was a mix of great and sucky.
K had the day off so we were able to start the day with a good snuggle. Since buying the Snoogle, there's a great lack of snuggle so it was good to catch up.
On lovey dovey holidays like Valentine's Day and our anniversary, K tends to wake up in the middle of the night and place presents on my desk for me to find in the morning. He overslept so he tried to sneak out to get the stuff from his car while I was on a bathroom break. I come out of the bathroom and he's rushing in towards my desk with a stuffed lion with a rose in its mouth and a variety of chocolates. Busted! It was adorable.
For the most part, we just hung out all day. We're not big on holidays and I really try to treat him like it's Valentines Day every day, so we just kind of don't know what to do differently when the actual holiday comes around. It was also a tense day because of where it fell in the pregnancy. Last time, the loss started after dinner on 18w5d, so ya know, holding breath.
K made a wonderful dinner of steak, lobster tail, and creamed spinach. I'm totally spoiled and I love it!
And in the evening, my body decided it hated me. It started having some gas pains. Ya know, like the kind of gas I thought I was having the last time but they were actually contractions. So I'm freaking out. It's one thing to be a little tense that it might be a difficult night to get through emotionally, it's another to have your body play practical jokes on you to really get you triggered. All evening, I'm watching the clock making sure that there's no pattern to the occasional gas and asking K "I was in pain last time right? I wasn't just a little uncomfortable, I was in real pain early on, right?"
We pulled out the doppler (again) and found the heartbeats really high up. They're pretty much in line with my belly button now. That actually calmed me down quite a bit. It was confirmation that it wasn't happening again, because if I was pushing something out again, we would have found their heartbeats much lower.
And here's the weirdest thing. Ya know how I've talked about maybe feeling movement a few times? Ok, every time I've felt it, I've reported it here. So that's 2 or 3 times total.
So I'm sitting on the couch, and I've got my hands on my stomach. I set them there and kind of press a little bit sometimes, just to feel the hardness of the uterus through the fat. And while I'm doing that, I think one of them kicked my finger! But that can't be true right? I really don't feel them internally, but it seemed like I felt one swift kick externally? Logic fails on that, but that's sure what it seemed like. It felt like a pea sized pebble bounced off my fingertip from below. Some time was spent being shocked at that.
Well, here I am. Currently pregnant a few hours longer than I was last time. I've crossed over from "been there, done that" to "what the heck is gonna happen now?" I feel like I'm on borrowed time from this point forward. I think, there's a good chance, but I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I just might be having a couple of babies this year.
Let's do this!
Friday, February 10, 2012
Always carry clean underwear
Yesterday was 18 weeks. Yay! This is the hold your breath week, and then we get into completely new territory. Lots of random thoughts from the last 2 days so this might wander a little bit.
**************************
I had a video shoot yesterday morning. And I gotta say, I was a hot mess while doing my job.
Here's what I think happened. I'm normally such a dietary garbage can that no matter what I eat, it doesn't really affect me. I think those days are over, at least for the moment. On my way to the shoot, I had my normal latte (good mix of a little bit of sugar, a little bit of caffeine and some protein from the milk to hold me over) and I also had one of those pieces of lemon loaf. I think that particular breakfast spiked and then completely crashed my blood sugar.
About halfway into the shoot (they take about 90 minutes), I suddenly had to sit down, had some trouble catching my breath, I was shaking, and nearly vomited. I tried to soldier on a few times, but finally had to take a real break, like 15 solid minutes, eat some fruit chewy things that I keep in my purse and down some water. After the break, I barely pushed on enough to get the footage necessary to do my job and got out of there. Called my bosses and told them that I probably did not make the best impression.
**************************
Found out this morning that I've put on 5lbs in the last 2 weeks. Well, that would explain why I'm a little more huffy puffy lately. And why I've felt like my belly has popped a bit.
My belly seems to be bulging out, and then deflating. For a day, I'll feel like I'm huge, and the line around my waist will soften from being pushed out, getting towards round instead of a cut off line between fat rolls. But then another day it will seem like I'm back where I was a couple of weeks ago. Still 2 confirmed fat rolls that just read as fat and gross rather than cute baby belly.
At the ultrasound this morning, I was told that they had shifted positions a little bit. So what I've probably been experiencing is that sometimes they are side by side (on my smaller, but just fat days) and sometimes they are one in front of the other (on my popped out baby belly days).
Either way, it's been a few weeks, so it's belly pic time! Again, my original 10 week photo versus my now 18 week photo.
Still no dramatic difference. Oh well.
**************************
After my dropped blood sugar fiasco, I had a lovely lunch with Bleeding Tulip. I don't think she recognizes it, but she's moved forward a lot in the last year. She's been losing weight (looking good!), and has not only gone back to work, but was able to get a different job when the first one was, ahem, unpleasant. In the last year, I've hardly been employed at all. How she's managed to secure herself 2 jobs in this economy, that's pretty impressive!
When fighting the infertile fight, it's really difficult to acknowledge any life progress that isn't baby related. So while she may not recognize that she's been moving forward in life, she has.
And again, I feel like a jerk. The only thing I have to talk about is being pregnant and birthing plans, and blah blah blah. All that stuff that I don't want anyone talking to me about when in the middle of the fertility fight. And yet here I was, being that very person that infertiles want to avoid. Sorry about that.
I was a bit overwhelmed with the shocking physical crash I was still kind of experiencing, and the fact that I'm so exhausted just walking 2 blocks to get cheesecake. I was surprised by my own body failings and really preoccupied by them.
**************************
Wondering about the title of this post? I'm getting to that.
**************************
I am proud of the fact that I did actually accomplish something yesterday. After years of having free accounts at Bank of America, they've started charging me a $25 a month fee of some sort. Guess what BofA? I have 2 other bank accounts and simply don't need you!
But.....BofA had 2 things going for them that the other banks didn't have. I had a business account there so on the rare occasion that someone writes a check out to the name of my business, I can cash the check, and they would also allow me to deposit checks made out to Alex which is how everyone knows me, but was not legally a part of my name until last year.
So I went to one of my other banks, and filled out all sorts of new paperwork. I had to show them all sorts of identification and the court document acknowledging my name change last year, and write out signatures for both versions of my name. Yay! Now they will acknowledge that I'm Alex! And just for fun, I opened a business account, even though I'm not going to be doing much business in the next year, so I can also deposit checks made out to my business name. Woot!
This week, I go through every account that does an automatic deposit or withdrawal and point those to my other account, and then I close BofA for good.
**************************
Oh yeah! Ok, really, I try not take what happens on forums as real life, but I've got to report on this.
Folks, the 4th grader in me that used to cry every day because she was unpopular and the other kids picked on her, she learned how to smile this week.
On the primary pregnancy forum that I visit, there are currently about 11,500 people there. And they have recently begun elections to assign 4 new group owners (aka moderators) to the group. A bunch of people expressed interest in the job (including myself), the owners of the website reviewed those people, and then came up with a list of nominees eligible for the job. Well, I was weeded out. No explanation, just that I was deemed to be not a good fit. So I'm not nominated.
And to my absolute shock, people are voicing how much they disagree with this decision! They are calling for people to vote for me even though I'm not on the nomination list because they want me as a group owner! I'm getting private emails from people who are trying to contact the website owners for some sort of explanation as to why I'm not eligible. There are threads happening about how much people wanted to vote for me and are just going to anyway.
Out of over 11k people, I'M FUCKING NOTICED! And some of those people who noticed me, ACTUALLY LIKE ME!!!! This is just incredible to me. I'm someone that when I graduated high school, and they did a photo montage of every graduating senior, they forgot to add my picture.
Since this started, my face has been alternating between these two extremes:
**************************
Had my ultrasound and doctors appointment today. I'll post pictures tomorrow, I haven't scanned stuff yet.
This appointment was meant to take up the hour between drinking the glucose crap and getting my blood drawn again, but due to massive amounts of puking up the crap, the second part of that test was cancelled, and I was just feeling like crap when I went in.
But the ultrasound went great! Both are still evenly sized, and I'm starting to see specific body parts like a little rib cage, and hands full of fingers. I think Baby B was sucking her(?) thumb. She was also kind of buried in there and we still couldn't get a good look at her bits to confirm once and for all that she's a girl, but ya know, still about 80% sure from the last look we got a couple of weeks ago.
The hematoma is holding steady, potentially even shrinking. So that's a good thing! The kiddos are getting heavy enough that they are flattening it out. It's now more of a thick string in there rather than a bubble. Still trace amounts of bleeding, but overall it's diminishing.
Now that the girls are getting bigger, we had to get reacquainted with Wanda to properly check my cervix length. Still at 4cm. YES!!! The book I'm reading about twins/multiples pregnancy says that if your cervix is 2cm or longer at your 20 week check up, that's an indicator that you're likely to go to term. Since I don't think my cervix is going to cut in half over the next 2 weeks, I'm feeling really good about that!
Back when I first started having bleeding on a fairly regular basis, well over a month ago, I started carrying a clean pair of underwear in my purse in case I overbled a pantyliner. While I was at it, I tossed in a pair of socks since I tend to wear non water proof shoes and I live in Seattle.
Oh by the way, this is my giant purse. I can carry two 2 liters of soda in this thing without having to rearrange stuff to make room. More pockets than I know what to do with. So carrying around some extra clothing is no big deal.
So when I went to get dressed after my date with Wanda, I noticed that my underwear was damp. Ewwwwww!!! I must have had a little leakage while I was upstairs hurling my guts out. And I'm not looking forward to putting them back on when it occurs to me, I have another pair in my purse! Woot! I pull out my clean fresh undies, get myself dressed, roll up my damp undies into a latex glove at the nurses station and I'm good as new!
And THAT pregnant ladies, is why you should carry around a clean pair of underwear in your purse!
**************************
I had a video shoot yesterday morning. And I gotta say, I was a hot mess while doing my job.
Here's what I think happened. I'm normally such a dietary garbage can that no matter what I eat, it doesn't really affect me. I think those days are over, at least for the moment. On my way to the shoot, I had my normal latte (good mix of a little bit of sugar, a little bit of caffeine and some protein from the milk to hold me over) and I also had one of those pieces of lemon loaf. I think that particular breakfast spiked and then completely crashed my blood sugar.
About halfway into the shoot (they take about 90 minutes), I suddenly had to sit down, had some trouble catching my breath, I was shaking, and nearly vomited. I tried to soldier on a few times, but finally had to take a real break, like 15 solid minutes, eat some fruit chewy things that I keep in my purse and down some water. After the break, I barely pushed on enough to get the footage necessary to do my job and got out of there. Called my bosses and told them that I probably did not make the best impression.
**************************
Found out this morning that I've put on 5lbs in the last 2 weeks. Well, that would explain why I'm a little more huffy puffy lately. And why I've felt like my belly has popped a bit.
My belly seems to be bulging out, and then deflating. For a day, I'll feel like I'm huge, and the line around my waist will soften from being pushed out, getting towards round instead of a cut off line between fat rolls. But then another day it will seem like I'm back where I was a couple of weeks ago. Still 2 confirmed fat rolls that just read as fat and gross rather than cute baby belly.
At the ultrasound this morning, I was told that they had shifted positions a little bit. So what I've probably been experiencing is that sometimes they are side by side (on my smaller, but just fat days) and sometimes they are one in front of the other (on my popped out baby belly days).
Either way, it's been a few weeks, so it's belly pic time! Again, my original 10 week photo versus my now 18 week photo.
 |
| 10 Weeks |
 |
| 18 Weeks |
**************************
After my dropped blood sugar fiasco, I had a lovely lunch with Bleeding Tulip. I don't think she recognizes it, but she's moved forward a lot in the last year. She's been losing weight (looking good!), and has not only gone back to work, but was able to get a different job when the first one was, ahem, unpleasant. In the last year, I've hardly been employed at all. How she's managed to secure herself 2 jobs in this economy, that's pretty impressive!
When fighting the infertile fight, it's really difficult to acknowledge any life progress that isn't baby related. So while she may not recognize that she's been moving forward in life, she has.
And again, I feel like a jerk. The only thing I have to talk about is being pregnant and birthing plans, and blah blah blah. All that stuff that I don't want anyone talking to me about when in the middle of the fertility fight. And yet here I was, being that very person that infertiles want to avoid. Sorry about that.
I was a bit overwhelmed with the shocking physical crash I was still kind of experiencing, and the fact that I'm so exhausted just walking 2 blocks to get cheesecake. I was surprised by my own body failings and really preoccupied by them.
**************************
Wondering about the title of this post? I'm getting to that.
**************************
I am proud of the fact that I did actually accomplish something yesterday. After years of having free accounts at Bank of America, they've started charging me a $25 a month fee of some sort. Guess what BofA? I have 2 other bank accounts and simply don't need you!
But.....BofA had 2 things going for them that the other banks didn't have. I had a business account there so on the rare occasion that someone writes a check out to the name of my business, I can cash the check, and they would also allow me to deposit checks made out to Alex which is how everyone knows me, but was not legally a part of my name until last year.
So I went to one of my other banks, and filled out all sorts of new paperwork. I had to show them all sorts of identification and the court document acknowledging my name change last year, and write out signatures for both versions of my name. Yay! Now they will acknowledge that I'm Alex! And just for fun, I opened a business account, even though I'm not going to be doing much business in the next year, so I can also deposit checks made out to my business name. Woot!
This week, I go through every account that does an automatic deposit or withdrawal and point those to my other account, and then I close BofA for good.
**************************
Oh yeah! Ok, really, I try not take what happens on forums as real life, but I've got to report on this.
Folks, the 4th grader in me that used to cry every day because she was unpopular and the other kids picked on her, she learned how to smile this week.
On the primary pregnancy forum that I visit, there are currently about 11,500 people there. And they have recently begun elections to assign 4 new group owners (aka moderators) to the group. A bunch of people expressed interest in the job (including myself), the owners of the website reviewed those people, and then came up with a list of nominees eligible for the job. Well, I was weeded out. No explanation, just that I was deemed to be not a good fit. So I'm not nominated.
And to my absolute shock, people are voicing how much they disagree with this decision! They are calling for people to vote for me even though I'm not on the nomination list because they want me as a group owner! I'm getting private emails from people who are trying to contact the website owners for some sort of explanation as to why I'm not eligible. There are threads happening about how much people wanted to vote for me and are just going to anyway.
Out of over 11k people, I'M FUCKING NOTICED! And some of those people who noticed me, ACTUALLY LIKE ME!!!! This is just incredible to me. I'm someone that when I graduated high school, and they did a photo montage of every graduating senior, they forgot to add my picture.
Since this started, my face has been alternating between these two extremes:
**************************
Had my ultrasound and doctors appointment today. I'll post pictures tomorrow, I haven't scanned stuff yet.
This appointment was meant to take up the hour between drinking the glucose crap and getting my blood drawn again, but due to massive amounts of puking up the crap, the second part of that test was cancelled, and I was just feeling like crap when I went in.
But the ultrasound went great! Both are still evenly sized, and I'm starting to see specific body parts like a little rib cage, and hands full of fingers. I think Baby B was sucking her(?) thumb. She was also kind of buried in there and we still couldn't get a good look at her bits to confirm once and for all that she's a girl, but ya know, still about 80% sure from the last look we got a couple of weeks ago.
The hematoma is holding steady, potentially even shrinking. So that's a good thing! The kiddos are getting heavy enough that they are flattening it out. It's now more of a thick string in there rather than a bubble. Still trace amounts of bleeding, but overall it's diminishing.
Now that the girls are getting bigger, we had to get reacquainted with Wanda to properly check my cervix length. Still at 4cm. YES!!! The book I'm reading about twins/multiples pregnancy says that if your cervix is 2cm or longer at your 20 week check up, that's an indicator that you're likely to go to term. Since I don't think my cervix is going to cut in half over the next 2 weeks, I'm feeling really good about that!
Back when I first started having bleeding on a fairly regular basis, well over a month ago, I started carrying a clean pair of underwear in my purse in case I overbled a pantyliner. While I was at it, I tossed in a pair of socks since I tend to wear non water proof shoes and I live in Seattle.Oh by the way, this is my giant purse. I can carry two 2 liters of soda in this thing without having to rearrange stuff to make room. More pockets than I know what to do with. So carrying around some extra clothing is no big deal.
So when I went to get dressed after my date with Wanda, I noticed that my underwear was damp. Ewwwwww!!! I must have had a little leakage while I was upstairs hurling my guts out. And I'm not looking forward to putting them back on when it occurs to me, I have another pair in my purse! Woot! I pull out my clean fresh undies, get myself dressed, roll up my damp undies into a latex glove at the nurses station and I'm good as new!
And THAT pregnant ladies, is why you should carry around a clean pair of underwear in your purse!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Coming up on 17 weeks
I hit 17 weeks tomorrow.
I had a moment of click where it dawned on me that it's real that there are babies with me where ever I go. I'm still fighting off that final click when this all becomes real. I'm simply not ready to jump over that emotional cliff, but it's becoming a little harder to fight every day. Did the official announcement on Facebook and that just feels like it's inviting disaster.
I did go back and read my blog from this point in my first pregnancy. There are some very reassuring differences.
When I was approaching 16 weeks, I was complaining of incontinence and a persistent nagging cough I had developed. I was talking about the doctor having me come in to test for a UTI and stuff to make sure the incontinence was baby based and not illness based. This time, I'm still pretty leak free and I don't have any kind of cough. So those first potential symptoms just aren't there this time.
A lot of times, I'm almost feeling like my crotch is pushing itself out, which of course totally freaks me out. I'm running my finger across my crotch more often than I'd like to admit to make sure there's no sac trying to make its escape. In reading other people complaining of this, it's pretty common and it's likely because a baby is lying low across the cervix putting pressure there. In my case, we're actually hoping for that. The subchorionic hematoma is located very near the cervix and we're kind of waiting for the babies to get heavy enough to sit on it, and put some pressure there to hopefully help stop the wound from bleeding anymore.
But the sensation is still rather terrifying given my history. I keep having to remind myself that I was feeling contractions and trying push out a BM pretty darned hard for 2 or 3 hours before the sac began to emerge. It didn't just randomly fall out of my body last time, and it's certainly not going to this time.
Ok, 17 week symptom break-down:
I had a moment of click where it dawned on me that it's real that there are babies with me where ever I go. I'm still fighting off that final click when this all becomes real. I'm simply not ready to jump over that emotional cliff, but it's becoming a little harder to fight every day. Did the official announcement on Facebook and that just feels like it's inviting disaster.
I did go back and read my blog from this point in my first pregnancy. There are some very reassuring differences.
When I was approaching 16 weeks, I was complaining of incontinence and a persistent nagging cough I had developed. I was talking about the doctor having me come in to test for a UTI and stuff to make sure the incontinence was baby based and not illness based. This time, I'm still pretty leak free and I don't have any kind of cough. So those first potential symptoms just aren't there this time.
A lot of times, I'm almost feeling like my crotch is pushing itself out, which of course totally freaks me out. I'm running my finger across my crotch more often than I'd like to admit to make sure there's no sac trying to make its escape. In reading other people complaining of this, it's pretty common and it's likely because a baby is lying low across the cervix putting pressure there. In my case, we're actually hoping for that. The subchorionic hematoma is located very near the cervix and we're kind of waiting for the babies to get heavy enough to sit on it, and put some pressure there to hopefully help stop the wound from bleeding anymore.
But the sensation is still rather terrifying given my history. I keep having to remind myself that I was feeling contractions and trying push out a BM pretty darned hard for 2 or 3 hours before the sac began to emerge. It didn't just randomly fall out of my body last time, and it's certainly not going to this time.
Ok, 17 week symptom break-down:
- Abdomen is still sore and generally heavy. Feels like I've got a gallon of water swinging around in my belly.
- Still have a decent sense of smell but it doesn't seem as bad as it was before.
- Nose still stuffed up.
- Today is day 19 of consistent, but small amounts of dark brown bleeding. Just fabulous.
- Still not sure I'm feeling movement. I can tell that there's something going on, but then I'll feel the same gurgle elsewhere so it can't be baby. Can't tell if I'm feeling my own pulse around the uterus, dinner moving along its digestion course, or babies twisting around. Until I can be sure, I'm gonna say I don't think I feel any movement yet.
- Not sleeping real well. Getting up to pee a lot, and just generally uncomfortable.
- I get tired really fast. The few times I've gone out to the pottery studio, I get completely exhausted and have to give up somewhere around hour 2.
- I'm hungry every 2 hours.
- Occasional heartburn and headaches.
In other news, we've learned that what K was suffering from 2 weeks ago was Salmonella poisoning! OMG! A few of our GP's patients all got it at the same time so various health departments are in contact with K trying to narrow down the source.
We've determined that it can't be anything from our fridge because there's nothing that's been in there that I haven't eaten and I didn't get sick. So that narrows it down to a fast food place he ate at without me, and potentially the buffet we went to. Our plates were similar, but maybe he ate something that I didn't. We're a bit freaked because we've been so careful about proper food prep, keeping raw meats separate from other foods, etc, and yet I still only narrowly escaped while he got hit.
And that's how things are going as I approach 17 weeks!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
When does this get real?
16 weeks today. Every time I look at the calendar and count up my weeks and days, I can't help but think "Really? That's it? That's as far as I've gotten? This is taking FOREVER!"
I seem to recall that at around 16 weeks is when it all got real for me the last time. We were halfway through our Birthing for Multiples classes, I was signing up for the local Moms of Multiples club, and I was starting to shop for various things to decorate the nursery.
Not this time though. This still just seems like an extension of the IVF attempt. Instead of a 2ww, I'm going to have more of a 30ww. We're checking on the doppler every other night or so and yes, we still have two little hearts beating away in there. They tend to remain pretty consistent at around 160bpm. But that seems about as real to me being told I have a large number of follicles or healthy embryos ready for transfer. It still seems like part of the process of maybe rather than declaring a success and needing to start preparing for the reward.
The other thing that's pretty consistent is the dark brown blood on my toilet paper that I get to look at every time I pee. 13 solid days now of a small amount of very dark brown blood. Almost looks like I'm wiping the other end sometimes. Starts with about a teaspoons worth collected there when I do my first pee of the day, and then it tapers from definitely being there to just being trace amounts for the rest of the day. Every night I go to bed hoping that it's stopping, or at least it's going to take a break, and every morning we start the cycle over again.
I'm sick of eating all the time because I'm hungry every 2 hours. I'm sick of the sink being full of dishes because I'm eating so damned often and I don't have the energy to deal with them and K doesn't have the time. I'm sick of being able to smell every litterbox in the house all the friggin time. I'm sick of thinking every day I'm going to do something productive, or at least fun, and finding myself having spent yet another day sitting in front of my computer with nothing to show for it. I'm sick of having a sore abdomen without having the fun of it being kicked from the inside. I'm sick of feeling blurples that I think might be baby movement, and then 20 minutes later feeling the exact same sensation in a different part of my stomach (like up near the ribs) that couldn't possibly be baby blurples.
I begrudgingly signed up for three baby classes yesterday. Not because I'm convinced I'm going to actually have a use for the knowledge one day, but because the paperwork we have from the doctor says to take the classes in months 4 or 5 if you're having multiples and I'm about there. Signed up for Day With Baby, Breastfeeding, and Car Seat Safety. Since we already took the birthing class, that pretty much covers it right?
And it's starting to nag me that I should start researching products. Research carseats (but now I'll wait until after I take the class in April), various sleeping options and the products one needs to purchase for whatever choice is made there, strollers, stuff like that.
Meh, fuck it. Yeah, there's always a chance that I could give birth really, really early in just a couple of months, but if that happens, the babies will be in the NICU for months and I won't need that stuff yet anyway. Researching and shopping would give me something to do during those stressful weeks in the NICU. Doing all that stuff right now would be too early, a burden on the 16 week me, and might deprive the terrified 28 week me of a distraction I might desperately need.
I suppose around 20 weeks, I'll ask my brother what equipment he has been storing, waiting to pass it on, and actually begin an inventory of what I have already from a variety of family members given to me during the last pregnancy (thanks again everyone!) and what I will actually need to get. It will be real to me at that point, right? I'll know genders, the babies will have the beginnings of identities, I should actually be feeling them move, and I'll have passed the point where I lost the girls.
Ultrasound tomorrow morning. With the girls, the big ultrasound was around 17w or so. I think it was a different machine because the picture was so much clearer, and they suddenly looked real rather than like fuzzy blobbies. So I'm not sure if my 16w ultrasound is going to be the big one or the 18w will be. I'm not sure which I'm hoping for actually. If tomorrow is the one where the reality suddenly smacks me in the face (like it did with the girls) will that rachet up my fear several notches? Is my current state of apathetic "maybe" a better place to be for the time being?
I suspect tomorrow we'll also start my weekly progesterone shots, and I'll probably be taking the glucose test for gestational diabetes within the next week as well. Since I'm pretty certain I'm going to have it again (I have twice the placentas this time so twice the chance, and since I got it last time, it only stands to reason), I'm pretty sure that my cookies and other treats are about to be taken away from me.
My conclusion is in reference to this post.
I guess what this all boils down to is that even though I've been told I've hit my goal weight and that I don't need to diet anymore, I'm allowed to eat the brownies, I'm still scared to go into the bakery and actually make the purchase. I'm allowed? Really? Are you sure? Maybe I should just lose another couple of pounds, just to be safe. Ya know, cuz that one bite of brownie might undo all the work I've done to get this far.
I seem to recall that at around 16 weeks is when it all got real for me the last time. We were halfway through our Birthing for Multiples classes, I was signing up for the local Moms of Multiples club, and I was starting to shop for various things to decorate the nursery.
Not this time though. This still just seems like an extension of the IVF attempt. Instead of a 2ww, I'm going to have more of a 30ww. We're checking on the doppler every other night or so and yes, we still have two little hearts beating away in there. They tend to remain pretty consistent at around 160bpm. But that seems about as real to me being told I have a large number of follicles or healthy embryos ready for transfer. It still seems like part of the process of maybe rather than declaring a success and needing to start preparing for the reward.
The other thing that's pretty consistent is the dark brown blood on my toilet paper that I get to look at every time I pee. 13 solid days now of a small amount of very dark brown blood. Almost looks like I'm wiping the other end sometimes. Starts with about a teaspoons worth collected there when I do my first pee of the day, and then it tapers from definitely being there to just being trace amounts for the rest of the day. Every night I go to bed hoping that it's stopping, or at least it's going to take a break, and every morning we start the cycle over again.
I'm sick of eating all the time because I'm hungry every 2 hours. I'm sick of the sink being full of dishes because I'm eating so damned often and I don't have the energy to deal with them and K doesn't have the time. I'm sick of being able to smell every litterbox in the house all the friggin time. I'm sick of thinking every day I'm going to do something productive, or at least fun, and finding myself having spent yet another day sitting in front of my computer with nothing to show for it. I'm sick of having a sore abdomen without having the fun of it being kicked from the inside. I'm sick of feeling blurples that I think might be baby movement, and then 20 minutes later feeling the exact same sensation in a different part of my stomach (like up near the ribs) that couldn't possibly be baby blurples.
I begrudgingly signed up for three baby classes yesterday. Not because I'm convinced I'm going to actually have a use for the knowledge one day, but because the paperwork we have from the doctor says to take the classes in months 4 or 5 if you're having multiples and I'm about there. Signed up for Day With Baby, Breastfeeding, and Car Seat Safety. Since we already took the birthing class, that pretty much covers it right?
And it's starting to nag me that I should start researching products. Research carseats (but now I'll wait until after I take the class in April), various sleeping options and the products one needs to purchase for whatever choice is made there, strollers, stuff like that.
Meh, fuck it. Yeah, there's always a chance that I could give birth really, really early in just a couple of months, but if that happens, the babies will be in the NICU for months and I won't need that stuff yet anyway. Researching and shopping would give me something to do during those stressful weeks in the NICU. Doing all that stuff right now would be too early, a burden on the 16 week me, and might deprive the terrified 28 week me of a distraction I might desperately need.
I suppose around 20 weeks, I'll ask my brother what equipment he has been storing, waiting to pass it on, and actually begin an inventory of what I have already from a variety of family members given to me during the last pregnancy (thanks again everyone!) and what I will actually need to get. It will be real to me at that point, right? I'll know genders, the babies will have the beginnings of identities, I should actually be feeling them move, and I'll have passed the point where I lost the girls.
Ultrasound tomorrow morning. With the girls, the big ultrasound was around 17w or so. I think it was a different machine because the picture was so much clearer, and they suddenly looked real rather than like fuzzy blobbies. So I'm not sure if my 16w ultrasound is going to be the big one or the 18w will be. I'm not sure which I'm hoping for actually. If tomorrow is the one where the reality suddenly smacks me in the face (like it did with the girls) will that rachet up my fear several notches? Is my current state of apathetic "maybe" a better place to be for the time being?
I suspect tomorrow we'll also start my weekly progesterone shots, and I'll probably be taking the glucose test for gestational diabetes within the next week as well. Since I'm pretty certain I'm going to have it again (I have twice the placentas this time so twice the chance, and since I got it last time, it only stands to reason), I'm pretty sure that my cookies and other treats are about to be taken away from me.
My conclusion is in reference to this post.
I guess what this all boils down to is that even though I've been told I've hit my goal weight and that I don't need to diet anymore, I'm allowed to eat the brownies, I'm still scared to go into the bakery and actually make the purchase. I'm allowed? Really? Are you sure? Maybe I should just lose another couple of pounds, just to be safe. Ya know, cuz that one bite of brownie might undo all the work I've done to get this far.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
I think....
I've been feeling movement.
I don't want to make any bold declarations here because it's still really early and I'm not sure. But they say that you can feel movement earlier during your second pregnancy, but I didn't know if I would qualify since I only got halfway through my first. Then again, it was twins so maybe physically, in terms of uterine stretching, I got some extra credit.
For a few nights, especially when I lay down on my side, I've been feeling blurples in my stomach. I've felt things like this before, but only once in a blue moon. But this has been pretty consistently happening in the evenings for several days in a row, even though I'm eating differently every day. If it was digestion blurples, it wouldn't happen so often, and it would be according to something I'm eating, right? So by eating differently every day and still feeling the blurples......I dunno. The movement tends to feel a little too high too. But only by an inch or so, so it's hard to say.
Ok, so I'm not declaring official feeling of movement, but I'm recording this now so that if it turns out to be movement, I'll have a record of when it started.
Is it time for belly pics? Have I gotten far enough along that there's something to compare rather than just having babies buried in fat? Well, they're still buried in fat, but I think it's starting to shift a little bit. Ok, here are my pics, 10 weeks and today at 15 weeks.
I don't want to make any bold declarations here because it's still really early and I'm not sure. But they say that you can feel movement earlier during your second pregnancy, but I didn't know if I would qualify since I only got halfway through my first. Then again, it was twins so maybe physically, in terms of uterine stretching, I got some extra credit.
For a few nights, especially when I lay down on my side, I've been feeling blurples in my stomach. I've felt things like this before, but only once in a blue moon. But this has been pretty consistently happening in the evenings for several days in a row, even though I'm eating differently every day. If it was digestion blurples, it wouldn't happen so often, and it would be according to something I'm eating, right? So by eating differently every day and still feeling the blurples......I dunno. The movement tends to feel a little too high too. But only by an inch or so, so it's hard to say.
Ok, so I'm not declaring official feeling of movement, but I'm recording this now so that if it turns out to be movement, I'll have a record of when it started.
Is it time for belly pics? Have I gotten far enough along that there's something to compare rather than just having babies buried in fat? Well, they're still buried in fat, but I think it's starting to shift a little bit. Ok, here are my pics, 10 weeks and today at 15 weeks.
 |
| 10 week twin belly pic |
 |
| 15 week twin belly pic |
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