Well....here we are. I'm now 36. Taking birth control pills as my first step to the FET. Due date in 3 days. Mother's Day in 4 days.
I'm not as bad off as I thought I would be. My birthday turned out really well actually. I interviewed for a job as a potter (I know, doing pottery and getting paid for it!), I think it went really well so I actually spent my birthday in a really good mood.
Just tired and cranky today. Not falling down sobbing, not fully functioning. It's just kind of a weight I'm carrying around with me.
That feeling of "I'm supposed to be this big but instead I'm that big" is starting to fade. I think a lot of my grief is fading with it. I make no promises that this current feeling of "meh" will last, but that's what I've got right now.