I write for many reasons.
1) It helps me organize my own thoughts. When explaining something to someone else, it gets the words out of my head and helps to put certain thoughts to rest. It's like I'm dealing with a particular topic, I get it organized, I get it written, it no longer swims in my head.
2) To help other people. I'm not really an expert on anything, but I do know what I'm experiencing. And what I have trouble finding other people going through the same things. I figured if I just put out every thought I have, maybe someone will be searching for someone having the same thought and might feel a little less alone.
All the bad jokes, bleakness, physical realities of how invasive, annoying, embarrassing, or whatever it is to go through this process, well, I put myself out here so that someone can find me and see that someone else has been there.
All those thoughts that we have that we dare not speak out loud for fear of how others will interpret those thoughts, maybe if I just go ahead and say that I'm having those thoughts, the next person won't feel like they are a jerk or something.
Thoughts about how wrong it's going to feel to be pregnant again, especially if it's a singleton.
I'm going to miss the opportunity to provide identical twin babies for my video friends commercial shoots.
That I still wear the jammies that my water broke on because they are really comfy jammies.
As far as I'm concerned, my body has become public property at the doctors office, so my brain may as well become public property here.
Does anyone find this blog helpful? Do my little ramblings help anyone, at all? Is there anybody listening?
I start injecting the lupron tomorrow so there's much depression and hatred in my future. That stuff does one hell of a number on me.
But if you think this blog contributes to the world in some way, I'd sure appreciate a note of encouragement, something to tell me that there's a reason to keep writing.