My Story

The chronicle of the journey from infertility, to miscarriage, to finally raising twin girls born in June 2012.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

My babies don't cry

I have to tell you a secret!
For the most part, the girls never cry.

The only crying they do is sometimes they don't want to go to sleep at night and Charlotte will let the tears flow and she will actually cry.  When she's upset about the sleeping situation, her screetch is pretty horrible.  Tina might do a little spurt, but it's kind of pathetic and obviously fake.

They will express a frustration with a bit of a scrunched face whine, or a squeaky grunt of some sort, but they don't get far enough to actually let out any tears.  As a result, I'm building absolutely zero tolerance for it and really have no skills for dealing with it.

When I manage to make it to the weekly family breakfast (doesn't happen very often), Tina will be all big grins at whoever comes near her while she's still in her stroller, but then someone takes her out and this look goes across her face.  Her mouth turns down.  And she starts to cry.  She's such a tease, drawing everyone in with her big smiles and "come pick me up" flirtations and then gets upset when someone takes her up on it.

The instant I see that look, I want her back.  For some strange reason, people resist me and insist that she's fine.  Um, no.  You don't understand, for that look to cross her face and for a tear to begin to form, that's extraordinary behavior for her.  Seriously, the only times I've seen it is at these gatherings and when I've clipped the skin when going for the fingernail.  So I've seen that lip tremble maybe a total of about 3 times in that last 3 months.  Give me back the baby, let me reassure her that things are fine and I promise I'll give her back to you once she's all fine and dandy!  Believe me, I want to eat my breakfast while others entertain the babies just as much as others want to entertain the babies!

For now, this is awesome, but I know it's eventually going to come back and bite me in the butt.  In a few months, I'm sure they'll become crying machines and I'll have developed zero coping skills for it.  Despite everyone telling me that Tina is fine and they can calm her down and stop her from crying, I really don't think they can.  It's being picked up and held by someone she doesn't recognize that's upsetting her to begin with so how is continuing that going to calm her?  Besides, she has about the same amount of coping skills for crying as I have.  If she's allowed to really get going, I'm not sure any of us will be able to pull her back and she might go into complete, irretrievable meltdown.  So I always insist on taking her back and making it stop before it starts.

Is almost no crying common at this age or do I have just have extraordinarily easy babies?  When do the inevitable meltdowns really get going?  I'm getting scared that when they do cry, I'll have no idea how to handle it and I'll just go all flailing all over like I did the first couple of months.


  1. It isn't unusual. Crying is communication, and as babies get better at communicating, their cries are less like just crying and more like just another form of speaking. They are also getting to an age where they know the difference between you and everyone else. That is a good thing. :)

    My son needed to unwind in his swing before bed at 6 mos. My mother would insist on holding him, but he would continue to wind himself up until I couldn't stand it! I had to have my husband take him from my mom and put him in the swing. Sometimes mom and dad know their babies best, and everybody else should just give them back!

  2. I just don't understand why it's so hard to get babies back when they are about to cry (or are already crying). Why do so many people seem to think they are better at consoling a baby than his/her mother??? So frustrating!

  3. Like Chick said it is their way to communicate with you. I'm always telling my husband the same before he is around his youngest cousins.


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