My Story

The chronicle of the journey from infertility, to miscarriage, to finally raising twin girls born in June 2012.

Sunday, February 24, 2013


When are they going to invent the brain camera?  Where you can say "archive the previous ten seconds" and have what you've just seen and heard captured forever?

Pictures and videos never seem to really capture what we remember in life because by the time we realize we're having a moment we want to capture, it's already gone.  And the camera never really sees what you're seeing anyway.

I make an effort to record some of the mundane in life.  Just let the camera roll and see what happens.  If I wait for special things to capture, I'll always be chasing them and never quite getting them.  By capturing the random mundane, I actually get a lot of really good stuff.  I captured my dads hands fiddling with a pencil doing those little magic tricks that appeal to kids.  I won't remember the big moments about my dad, years from now, when he's gone, I'll remember how he was always fidgeting, doing those little magic tricks.  I was recording The Teeny Tiny doing some random babbling and the camera was rolling when her babbling stumbled upon "Da Da" for the first time.

I wasn't recording but I had one of those moments where I wish that brain camera existed.  The girls are going through a development leap.  Their movements are becoming more subtle and intentional.  They were in their high chairs and I looked down for a second to stir their oatmeal and I looked back at them and they both had their heads cocked to the left with an identical coy grin on their faces.  It was the cutest twin thing ever!

Other randomness - the girls might be getting sick.  They haven't really been sick before.  They've shown signs of potentially getting sick, but it's never really manifested.  But my mom is out with a bad virus and she babysat during the contagious period before she knew she was sick.  And the girls have been a little out of sorts the last 2 days, last night waking up at 5:30am needing some daddy snuggles which they haven't done for a long time.  Only time will tell if they're actually getting sick or not.

Yesterday, TTT made sure that the zipper on my shirt was thoroughly explored and contemplated.  They currently find clapping hands hilarious.

The biggest change to my day is that I'm now only pumping 3 times a day.  As a result, my supply has tanked.  I'm getting just under 30oz a day now which for a singleton would be a great supply, but it's not what I'm used to and not enough for 2.  I keep trying to remind myself that just because ounces are something you can count, they do not measure the quality of parenting I'm doing.  I'm now spending much more time with the girls, getting them on the (now clean) floor so they can attempt to crawl instead of spending almost every moment of their waking day in their exersaucers.  Spending less time at the pump is making me a better mommy even if it means sneaking in a few ounces of formula a day instead of a diet of pure breast milk.

1 comment:

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