We are coming up on what will probably be the most difficult week of all of this. What we now are referring to as Hell Week.
May 1 - our anniversary. We used to joke about the twins would probably come on this day just to make sure we pay attention to them and don't get a day every year to think about us as a couple.
May 2 - my birthday. Cake with frosting that may as well spell out "Congratulations! You're a year older and in a higher failure bracket!"
May 3 and 4 - We were hoping they would be born straddling midnight so everyone would get their own birthday.
May 5 - Hubby's birthday. Want some of my leftover failure cake Sweetie?
May 7 - the day we would have induced if they hadn't been born yet.
May 8 - The first Mother's Day we were ever going to celebrate.
May 9 - appointment with the grief counselor assuming I'm not completely comatose by then.
And just to make sure we make it as difficult as possible, we've added an extra layer of complication. As reported earlier, we think I ovulated around the 14th. So that means that we should be pregnancy testing right around May 1, assuming AF doesn't answer the question for me. If positive - all sorts of mixed emotions (mostly good, but still overwhelming). If negative, I immediately start the medications to start an FET cycle.
I'll probably be curled up in the fetal position under the covers if anyone needs me.
As a BLM myself, my first instinct is to say: Fingers crossed for a BFP...but hot damn girl...that's a lot for the first week of May.
ReplyDeleteI also think you might want to celebrate Mothers day. You are a mother regardless of where you children are.
Take care mamma.
Hey Alex,
ReplyDeleteI clicked on your link from baby center. I love that you have a blog to write all your thoughts about your m/c. I have a craft/decorating/other random thoughts blog and posted about what I was going through this past month. It really helped me to put it out there to the world (as you have obviously figured out) and I know it helps other women to be able to relate. Just wanted to say keep it up and I hope you get that BFP for your birthday!