Babies R Us

K and I went out to breakfast this afternoon (yes, breakfast in the afternoon, I slept in, deal with it) and he decides that maybe we should take a look around Babies R Us.  Ya know, just to see what's there and what we're in for.

I was not excited by this plan, but whatever.  Here are my findings:

There are no products that will allow me to move the twins in any kind of convenient manner.  All of the twin strollers are huge and unwieldy, there don't appear to be any Bjorn type of products for two, and the portable crib/playpen/changing table thingy is so large, I'm not sure I can maneuver it around our weird hallway from our bedroom to the rest of the house.

I hate pink.

There have GOT to be similar items to those sold at BRU for half the price.

Why does an infant need something branded?  Seriously.  Winnie the Pooh was big, as was Barbie, and various sports teams put out baby jerseys.  Why on earth does a baby need something that's 50% more expensive simply because it has a trademarked animal on it?


I completely made another couples day when we were looking at the little baths/baby holders for bath.  I believe my quote something akin to "Wait a minute, the baby gets a whirlpool and I don't?  Oh hell no!"  They left the aisle laughing.

There was a beautiful crib/changing table that converts into a full bed.  I left thinking that would be the most cost efficient route because the twins could share a full bed well into their childhoods.  But I've thought about it some more and we don't know if we're going to get cuddle twins or sock 'em up twins.  Probably not the best idea to invest in a piece of furniture that determines their sleeping arrangement for the next several years.  I'm now leaning towards one that converts into a twin bed.  When it's time to graduate from the crib, if they are cuddlers, we can get a second twin bed and put them together and if they're fighters, we can get a loft bed to go over the twin bed effectively making bunk beds.

Seriously, pink sucks.

We inadvertently decided on a theme - Monkeys.  Secondary theme, froggies.  I'm just not up for cute.  I can't handle bunnies, I don't like duckies, those over simplified cartoon lions look sad and gross, so monkeys and froggies it is.  So we can probably start decorating with a green type of color scheme with monkeys and froggies and not have to know the genders before we get started.  Yay!

Most of the pregnant women there were accompanied by 2 other women.  I'm assuming a mother and a sister.  Not a lot of fathers there even though it's a Sunday.

Why do they put stimulating toys over cribs?  Isn't the point of a crib to remove stimulation so your child will sleep?

As I feared, there are ton of products out there that simply do not need to exist but attempt to convince you that you simply must have one.  Like some sort of reclining seat thingy that vibrates.  You're supposed to strap your kid into this thing after they eat, it will hold them at a certain angle and vibrate.  It's supposed to aid digestion.  Really?  My kid won't be able to convert food into poo without this expensive gadget?  Ya know, I think they'll manage just fine thank you very much.

Rocking chairs are really friggin expensive.  Does a person really need one?  Can a child not be soothed unless you're rocking?  I hate rocking chairs.  I'm assuming I'm going to have to bite the bullet and get one on craigslist or something. 


I have nightmares about having too much gum in my mouth so I can't breathe and I'm trying to peel it from my teeth and from the roof of my mouth where it's all sticking.  Pink makes me think of gum.  *shudder*

We ended up buying a cheap wedge pillow for me to wear between my knees when I sleep.  I've been thinking of getting one of those big fancy pregnancy pillows but I probably won't.  I think those are primarily for the average woman who suddenly has to adjust to having a huge amount of weight in front of them.  Since I've always been fat, I'm pretty sure I'm already accustomed to sleeping with extra weight so I'm not going to be as uncomfortable as most.

And that's what I noticed at Babies R Us.