My Story

The chronicle of the journey from infertility, to miscarriage, to finally raising twin girls born in June 2012.

Monday, April 15, 2013

It was an acting choice

There are a lot of little moments in our life that define who we become.

One of mine was a kid playing soccer.  While all the other kids went running after the ball wherever it went, it suddenly dawned on me that instead of expending all that energy in chasing it and just getting tangled up in the throngs of other people all scrambling for the ball, meh, I can just stand here.  It'll come back.

And thus ended any hope of any athletic career.

Another was in high school when I got cast as Rizzo in Grease.  I'm not a cool person, but I was cast to play the leader of the cool kids.  I was thinking about how I could manage to portray that.  How do I portray someone that is respected by her peers?

And then it hit me.  I didn't have to do anything.  That the other characters respected my character was already in the script.  Someone who is truly powerful doesn't have to prove it.  She simply assumes that everyone around her will accept her power without question.  The more one struggles to prove they have power, or respect, the more they prove the very opposite.

I go on a lot of message boards where people ask for advice.  It passes the time and makes me feel like I have something to contribute.  People there often tell me I'm very insightful which is a bit of an ego boost.  More and more I see people trying to maneuver around other people, to get the upper hand, to win.  More and more often I find that the answer is really simple.

Simply know that you have power.  The more people fight you or try to convince you that you are powerless, the more they are tipping their hand and demonstrating that you actually have the power.  They are trying to convince you to do something or behave a certain way because they need you to do so.  The louder they get, the more they are showing you that they need your permission to do something and they are using every tactic in the book to get you to give it.  Guilt is a very strong incentive and widely used.

I try not to feel guilty too much.  I often fail, but I try.  Pretty much any guilt I do feel comes from within.  Generally if someone else tries to make me feel guilty, I recognize it as the power ploy that it is and I get angry instead.

No real point here.  I've often wondered why I'm so fascinated by peoples motivations, unearthing them and figuring out how to predict their future behavior based on those motivations.  I've recently figured out that it all stems from my days as an actor.  When all I had were the words on the page to guide me in knowing a character and doing my best to figure out everything that drives that person by nothing more than the words they say.  The advice boards are constant character studies.  I guess that's why I'm always there, figuring out who people are from a few words on the page, and then trying to give them advice that will lead them to where they want to be in life.  Don't know if I'm actually any good at it, but I like to try.

1 comment:

  1. I like the advice you have to give. Hoping I get to use some of it next year.


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