My Story

The chronicle of the journey from infertility, to miscarriage, to finally raising twin girls born in June 2012.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

The night shift

We're not having good nights around here.

Two nights ago, K did the sleep in the living room with the girls thing so I could sleep through the night.  Last night, I intended to return the favor, and I really tried.  But Charlotte decided that she hated the world from 10pm - 4am and would not shut up!  Around 1am, I started crossing over from stressed out to really pissed off, and I had to put her down and wake up K.  I'm afraid to say what briefly crossed my mind because everyone will go all red flag on me, but let's remember that thoughts are not actions, and I assure you, they never will be.  That's why I put the baby down, and woke up K to help me, because I simply could not stand it calmly anymore.

Just as she FINALLY went to sleep at 4am, I sent K back to bed, I put my head on my pillow on the couch, and within 30 seconds Christina was ready for her bottle and diaper change.  There was much screaming of the phrase "you have got to be fucking kidding me!"

And as she was finishing up around 5am, guess who decided that she was hungry again and woke up screaming.  6am, Christina is sleeping, and Charlotte is put down, but still griping from time to time like she's going to pitch a fit.  Again, I'm ready to pull my hair out, so I tag in K to come sleep on the couch so I can sleep in the bedroom.  And of course, the minute it was Daddy's turn to deal with whatever might come along, everyone decided that sleep was just fantastic and K didn't have to do anything.

I had to get up about 8am to pump and then take my parents to the airport.  I was tempted to buy a plane ticket to New Zealand just so I could sleep on the ride there.

K and I have now both had a night of fragmented 7 hours of sleep in the last 2 days.  I have to pump even when he's taking the girls or I wake up soaking wet and in a lot of pain so we don't really let me go more than 4-5 hours without waking me up for that.  Last night I got about 2 hours of sleep and then took a 2 hour nap this afternoon.

By the way, my in-laws are in town.  For all of you visiting new parents, it's not fucking cute to have someone constantly teasing, talking to the babies who are very calm during the day saying "I think your mommy is lying, you don't get fussy at all!  I don't know what she's talking about!"  Yes, I am telling the truth, yes I'm pissed off at the world right now from lack of sleep and hours of screaming, and since I can't rip out the child's hair, don't tempt me to rip out yours instead!

Random notes - we've gone out to restaurants for the last 2 nights and the girls have slept through both experiences with no fussing at all.  I'm actually rather impressed by that!

Obligatory picture of the Pissy Missy's that are pissing me off during the 3 minutes they were both asleep at the same time.  Sure, be cute, make me feel like shit for being frustrated.


  1. Please don't rip out my hair for asking this, but have you guys tried the whole "whenever one wakes up hungry, wake the other one up and feed her too so that they both get on the same eating schedule" thing? I don't know if it works for everyone, but it literally saved my sanity. Okay, I'll shut up now (oh, but also, what IS it with people teasing the new mommy!? I got a lot of those conspiratorial whispers between my mom and the babies - "oh what IS your momma doing to you" - that drove me NUTS too!) Hang in there. That is all. :)

    1. For the most part, yes, we do that. We get a diaper changed, a bottle in a mouth, and then we go and wake up the other one and cycle her through too. The problem was that Charlotte wasn't doing a cycle, she was just screaming continuously. We did try to start cycles over again, give them both a bottle and a diaper change and try to put them down again, about every 2 hours we did that. But no, not so much. Right now, we both have a baby on our chest and we think they are tummy sleepers. Need to talk to a pediatrician to see if there's some sort of safe method to use to allow them to sleep on their tummies.

    2. Oh geez... it makes me all anxious just thinking back to those days. I wish I could help! I know there are some babies who really just need to be tummy sleepers, so it'll be interesting to hear what your pedi says. Hope the next few days (and nights) are better!

  2. Ok so if your inlaws are in town and aren't staying with you guys, then load those babies up at 4am and drive to wherever they are stating and drop them off. I would say here gma/gpa, it's time for you to do your grandparents duty. Seriously, that's why family comes to visit, so they can help the stressed new parents. If they aren't there to help YOU, then hit the door. That's how it worked at our house when our little one was born.

  3. Oh that picture is just adorable - I think you should get one of them both screaming their heads off to go with it.

    Hang in there. Do what you have to do, even if that means waking K up and walking away for a minute.

    Funny about the tummy sleeping, my friend with now 11 month old girl/boy twins - the boy loved to sleep on his tummy. She spoke to her doctor and they just made sure he was able to move his head, and then they went with it. I think she also still had him sleeping in their room at that point too so she could watch him.


  4. Hang in there, Sweetie. You're doing everything you can! My nephew has enjoyed sleeping on his tummy, too, and at 4 months old, does it for every nap (but not overnight).

  5. My oldest couldn't sleep on his back either. His ped said it's always a risk to put a baby on their tummy but it's the parents decision (big help, right?). He didn't have any risk factors for SIDS so after 6 weeks of virtually no sleep I put him on his tummy to sleep in his crib. He slept 6 hours straight which scared me to death! I kept checking on him to make sure he was still breathing. Still didn't get any sleep! LOL Your girls are adorable and look like they are growing really well! Hang in there, I promise you will get to sleep again someday!

  6. Things got much better for my twins when they learned to 1) suck their thumbs and 2)sleep on their stomachs. My girls learned to roll to their stomachs very early, like right about when they were 2 months old (they were preemies as well). I was totally wigged out about them on their stomachs, i would constantly turn them back over, then I finally gave up and it was better for everyone. One of my girls had an apnea monitor so that helped ease my worries. It does get better but that sure doesn't help right now! And visitors, we had constant visitors which drove me nuts! A 30 minute visit is about all I could handle but these damn people would stay for hours! And no one would help! It gets easier (bears repeating).


  7. I let my son nap on his stomach. It helps him work gas out. I've found at this 4-6 week age that my son is bothered more by gas so when he's fussy, I try to work a burp out over my shoulder. Sometimes it takes a good 15 or 20 minutes but one usually comes out if I rub his back in circles and/or an upward motion.
    It is frustrating!

  8. Do your girls take pacifiers? My daughter born 2 days after yours (also 35 wk preemie) was doing the same thing. Fussing from 10pm until 2/3am. Last night was better as I managed to get her to sleep holding the pacifier in her mouth - i use the mam newborn ones.I also used 'little Tummys' gas relief drops for her wind. It seemed to do the trick (fingers crossed).

    Changing the subject - are your girls identical twins? They look it in that picture. Trés cute.


  9. I like the idea of dropping them off with the grandparents so they get a "real" taste of remembering. Alex I really hope that things quiet down for you soon.


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