Teeny Tiny Tina came home yesterday. This, of course, is just wonderful. But it did spark off my first real emotional meltdown of parenting. Oh, I've shed a few tears here and there, you know, hormones and all, but this made me an absolute blubbering mess. Crap, retyping these thoughts has me blubbering again.
As we got Tina (am I officially calling her that now?) all secured in her car seat, I became acutely aware that three of us were about to walk out of that hospital room and leave Charlotte all alone. I've walked out of that room plenty. Every night, K and I have walked out of that room leaving our girls there so we could try to sleep in our own bed, and it never bothered me. But taking one with us and leaving the other behind, it was the first time I felt like I was actually walking away from my baby.
It took about a half hour for me to compose myself enough to be able to leave that room. And as we walked down the halls of the nicu, with one of the smallest babies to leave the nicu in our car seat, people are saying "congratulations" as we walk past. And I just want to correct them and say "no, we're leaving one here."
*Surprise update, since I've given up on chronological story telling anyway* K is currently at the hospital with Charlotte. They've removed her feeding tube! That means she's learned how to eat well enough that they trust she can eat enough to gain weight at the proper speed. She might be home in a couple of days! I spent a good deal of last night futzing with K's phone so when he takes a picture, it automatically uploads to a private online album that I can access. I just saw a picture of my Charlotte's full face, with no tubes or anything! I'm keeping this moment for myself. Sorry. You guys can see her later. Once I figure out how to tell pictures of her and Tina apart now that they kind of look alike. And now back to our regularly scheduled blog post.
Ok, so bringing Tina home. Ah yes, other than me blubbering away in the car about Charlotte, pretty uneventful. We stepped outside and I said "well you wanted out, so here it is! Here's out!" She didn't make a sound in the car, or when we stopped, or when we carried the car seat inside.
|That's as close as Mayday got|
We left Tina in her seat for a few minutes and introduced Mayday and Jipsee (individually) to come check out this new scent producer. Each one in term slowly approached, looked at her, slowly backed away again, and left. Since then, they have both stood up using the side of the pack and play to get a look at her, but no sign of wanting to jump in, and they are still pretty cautious about the whole idea of being near her.
Side note about Mayday. Remember how obsessed he's been with me while I'm pregnant? Yeah, has hardly looked at me since I got home. No snuggles, no wrestling matches where he insists on sleeping on my and I try to get him to at least sit next to me instead, nothing. All interest is officially lost.
Pebbles did eventually see her, but only because she wanted her mans attention and his attention was elsewhere. She kept patting his arm trying to get him to give her snuggles and he kept insisting he was busy. This displeased her, but what else is new. No actual interaction with the baby of course.
Well, Happy Father's Day K! I got you a pair of girls, size XS!