My Story

The chronicle of the journey from infertility, to miscarriage, to finally raising twin girls born in June 2012.

Monday, June 27, 2011

God damned holding pattern

Grrrrr.  It's the stage where day to day, there's not a damned thing I can do to move towards our goal.  Just waiting for my period to start which will punctuate the pointlessness of the last 2 months of my life.  Not a friggin thing to do.  No finances to arrange, no medications to take, not a damned thing.

We meet with a new clinic on July 6th.  I'm going to try to set up an interview with another clinic (which is right next door) on that day as well.  Nothing to discuss, consider, think about until then.

And I can't believe I'm starting to think of things in terms of years instead of months.  I'm now looking at possibly doing IVF exactly one year later, to the day, that we did IVF to conceive our girls.  A whole fucking year later and I currently have no baby, no pregnancy.  Right back in the same fucking place I was in one year ago.

If you'll excuse me, I have some crying and screaming to take care of.  Too bad it's coming out of my face and not an itty bitty cutey patooty face.

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