My Story

The chronicle of the journey from infertility, to miscarriage, to finally raising twin girls born in June 2012.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Dear K,

In the 12 months since we celebrated our last Valentine's Day, a whole lot about what I knew to be true has been proven wrong.  Every knowledge I was secure in, kaput.  Some of those "truths" include:

  • I have a friend who's incapable of being mean and wouldn't chose to do so even if she were capable of it.  
    • Bitch
  •  I can't get pregnant.  
    • With help I can apparently, and with twins!  Who'da thunk it?
  • Once we're past the first 3 months, it's safe to not just hope for kids but to actually plan for them.  
    • At least now we have an awesome closet
  • I have really, REALLY thick hair.  
    • Seriously, my ponytail used to be huge and now it's half the size, wtf?
  • I will never tolerate more than 10 minutes at a time on the treadmill, and I'll agonize over every second of those 10 minutes.  
    • I'm averaging about 15 minutes before I look to see if I can stop now
  • If anything is dependent on me following a proper diet, I'm completely doomed.  
    • Apparently not, I can actually figure out things like protein and carbs and crap and follow a plan if it's important enough
  •  I suck at math.
    • I have seen more numbers in more configurations in the last month than I ever thought could ever exist.

To me, all of these things were universally true.  My faith in everything I know has been turned upside down.

Everything except one thing.  You.  You are here, you will always be here, and I like you.  I really really like you.  And with everything around me falling to shit, I'm struck by how secure I am in you.  I know we're not the couple with our hands all over each other and schmooping all over the place when we're in public.  We don't make people want to gag by being "THAT couple" anymore like when we were first together.  But what we lack in schmooping, we make up for in security and a genuine affection.  The affection is so deep, we don't have to prove it all the time.

I wish I could love you more today than other days, but my love for you overflows every day of the year.  I love you every minute of every day.  I always will.  Happy Valentine's Day sweetie. 

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