My Story

The chronicle of the journey from infertility, to miscarriage, to finally raising twin girls born in June 2012.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Wardrobe change

I just dug out my maternity jeans.

I've gained about 30lbs and as a result, I really only have one pair of proper jeans that fit right now.  I promised K I would make a sincere effort to do some pottery while the girls napped today and when doing pottery, I really need to wear jeans.  I always get some clay on my thighs and when wearing yoga pants or leggings, the water soaks through, so denim is my wardrobe of choice in there.

I'm one of those people who only washes my jeans when necessary.  Part of the reason is that when they come out of the dryer, they're always a little bit tighter and I just don't want to deal with that.  So I'd like to save my proper jeans for when I'm going out in public.  Thus, digging out my maternity jeans.

For a moment I felt shame.  Shame that I'm so fat that I'm resorting to a big elastic belly instead of a standard fly.  Then I put them on.  Fuck you Fashion, this is awesome!  I'm so comfy!!!  I'll be able to crunch my belly as I lean over the wheel without the waistband marks of shame digging into my belly.  Screw regular jeans, I might just buy maternity pants for the rest of my life.

I can't hide that I'm fat.  Seriously, there's just no pretending that I'm anything but a big, round person.  So why am I buying giant versions of clothing that are only comfortable on skinny people?  Yes, I'm embarrassed about my weight.  I'm overall just embarrassed to exist right now.  But I'm going to be just as embarrassed wearing pants that dig into my stomach, so why not just be embarrassed but comfortable?

So here I am, a walking fashion faux pas while my blobbing belly celebrates and cries out in victory (an for some reason a Scottish accent) "Freedom!!!  You can not contain the belly!!!!  I laugh at your waistbands of shame.  From this day forward, I celebrate my freedom!!!"


  1. Blogger deleted my comment :(

    Basically, post-pregnancy shape is hard to dress. Waistline and leg shape don't seem to match up anymore... Either it fits in the waist and it's huge in the leg, or fits in the leg and doesn't button. Maternity pants have no zippers or buttons, and are fitted through the leg while generous in the belly. Pretty win-win!

  2. I think one of the best things about being pregnant was discovering pregnancy jeans! I think they should ALL be made that way!!

  3. I must admit.... I too wear a pair of maternity shorts (but cant really tell with a proper top) during the summer... my twins are now 5 years old!!!!!

  4. Celebrate you being you! There's no shame in maternity pants! The shame lies with the women and young ladies of our size who don't know enough to keep it covered!! I mean I don't like looking in the mirror naked so why do I want to look at someone else's fat hanging out? I still have a few maternity tops I routinely wear because they are comfy and look nice with the shape I currently am. I'd say if a 30lb heavier you is able to raise twins, play, do pottery, cook, and look like you are having a great time with your family then just go with it, maternity pants and all!!


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