Why, you ask? Because I somehow pissed someone off on an internet forum and they've gone to great lengths to make sure I know that they think I'm a twat. I would have preferred "twatwaffle" as it has just that little bit extra ooomph to it, but not everyone can be as poetic as I am.
Now, usually, when I get a comment that's particularly rude, I just delete it so the rest of you don't have to read crap. However, this is at least the second and potentially the third time that this individual has gone to great lengths to ensure that I'm aware of my own twattiness.
A few months back, she found me via my business facebook page to tell me that there were people talking shit about me on a new forum that was created and I should see what they were saying. What really confused me was that the path of finding my business facebook page must have taken a whole lot of clicks, and there were several means of contacting me prior to finding that page. So I really have to admire her effort on that one. She went above and beyond. Then there was someone who identified themselves as being from that forum, who left some comments on this blog and we bantered back and forth a bit until I was pretty sure she had bored herself and then I just deleted the whole thing. I'm not sure if the second person is the same person, but it wouldn't surprise me if it was. And now, some lovely emails came my way this morning with the subject line of the name of that forum. It is the same person as the first incident, and might be the same as the second. So this is either the second or the third time she has devoted her time to finding me, and publicly hating me.
Since I think she's going to keep bothering me until the whole world knows that I'm a twat, I will go ahead and publish her brilliant observations here for all the world to see. 99% of the time I'm pretty darned mature, but I only have a few weeks left in which I can sink to a lower level before I'm a role model, so just this one time, I'm going to indulge.
For your viewing pleasure, here are Heather's observations on the subject of my twattiness.
youre a twat. really theres not much more to say. cant stand your self righteous posts. twat.
10:32 AM (2 hours ago)
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Why did you bother to find my email address just to tell me that? Wouldn't it have easier to either message me there, or to reply to some twatty comment I made so everyone could marvel in your brilliant observation?
10:33 AM (2 hours ago)
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nah. no point bringing drama to the board just b/c i despise your post and ignorance. cow.
10:35 AM (2 hours ago)
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It's called an ignore button. You've disliked me for months, so much that you made sure to contact me to tell me there was some forum out there hating on me. You are giving a person you hate waaaaaaay too much of your attention and time.
10:36 AM (2 hours ago)
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yahh sure have. and the number of ppl that hate u in that group grows daily. ur a fat fucking twat. c ya.
10:37 AM (2 hours ago)
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Oh you got me! Ouch! Oh no, people don't like me! However shall I recover?
*Note* At this point I started a thread on the forum we originated from to announce that I am, indeed, a twat. I shortly received this last email (for now at least).
*Note* At this point I started a thread on the forum we originated from to announce that I am, indeed, a twat. I shortly received this last email (for now at least).
11:05 AM (2 hours ago)
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u poor attention seeking fat cow. u feel like such a lonely twat u post on bbc to have rainbows blown up ur ass. sad. sad fucking cow twat. put more energy into exercising u fat cow.
So there you have it folks! According the most brilliant and delightful Heather, definitive proof that I am a twat! I hope your lives are all improved now that we've cleared that up.
PS - damnit, the formatting on this is wonky and I can't seem to fix it. Bitch broke my blog! Oh well, wonkiness is worth it.
PS - damnit, the formatting on this is wonky and I can't seem to fix it. Bitch broke my blog! Oh well, wonkiness is worth it.
It's okay Alex...we still love you...even if you are a twat.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA. Awesome. Love the twatiness of the emails.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if this can be termed banter. Wouldn't there have to be some sign of intelligence on this Heather girl's part?
ReplyDeleteHey Heather, saw your facebook pictures and you're not much of a slender beauty yourself! At least Alex can type coherent sentences.
ReplyDelete(Belleamour - the number one douchebag on babycenter)
Oh my goodness. I'm sorry that this Heather is such a twatwaffler, but this 'banter' made my day. It's that funny. Make sure this twatwaffling troll can't find where you live, ok? She's nasty. Stupid, apparently, but nasty. Nasty, nasty, twatwaffling troll :)
ReplyDeleteOk, I know this is awful and hateful, but it just made me giggle. I guess that means I must be a twat too. Thank you for sharing!!!
ReplyDeleteMB Boston
Seriously! Sometimes I hate BBC for that very reason. It seems the private boards usually prevent crap like that. (I like you. I don't care what that bitchy troll says.)
ReplyDeletewell, least you can tell she's an immature lil girl (not saying age) but wow, the "private groups" kinda suck and um how come all the "cool, chill girls" are on the douchbag list and the actual douchbags are not on the list. SMH, just said, however i do have a life and dont want to waste my time looking for her FB like some of you others.
ReplyDeleteIf you look up her email on Facebook, her page says she's from Bothell as well and she likes your Uga Buga fb page. Lolwut? Crazies.
ReplyDeleteNaw, that's someone who created that a couple of hours ago in response to all this. Just someone being a smartass!
DeleteWhew!
DeleteHey, Alex, I'm bored and need entertainment, can I have one of those too? Although it's more fun when you're dealing with someone who can make it more of a level playing field.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting. I'm glad you posted this bit of humor from the ill-bred lassie.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you should entertain this for a minute. Who cares what she says? We are all adults and just shouldn't engage in high school crap. You are an active participant if you answer her back. Its not worth your blog space.
ReplyDeleteI was so astounded I had to show this to a friend of mine, who commented "This woman (meaning Heather) needs to come up with some new vocabulary. Even in elementary school you learn you need to have more than one insult, otherwise you start to sound stupid."
ReplyDeleteIs it just me, or do haters like that always seem like they are barely literate?
ReplyDelete