On blogs, it's so easy to think that the writer is awesome all the time or overcoming some major obstacle because we tend to only write about the great little things or the horrible big things.
But that's not daily life. I'm a big fan of the minutiae of daily life. The little things that happen every day that aren't anything worth writing home about, those are the things that truly create a life.
So I offer you a bit of minutiae about my day today where I started off being kind of crappy, but I think I recovered well.
I have a medical bill sitting on my desk taunting me. My husbands insurance now has this credit card thing that you can use to cover copays and other out of pocket medical expenses from some sort of account. A flexible spending account I guess. I haven't used this card yet and the bill that's taunting me doesn't have a means of paying via credit card online and it's kind of a large bill. So I wanted to call and double check that I can fill out the credit card info and mail it in and to see if there was enough money in the account to cover it.
I got far enough into the phone call to find out that yes, I can do that and I was trying to listen to the various prompts to find out if there was enough money in the account so I could go ahead and do that. That's when Middie Biddie started whining at me and trying to crawl on me. I tried to set her down and separate myself but had to have the prompts read to me again, and I was getting frustrated at trying to do one thing while she was pulling and whining at me to do another so I gave up and hung up the phone.
I was so pissed off! I started to yell at her "I can't even finish a fucking phone call because of you!!!!" The words "I can't..." got out of my mouth before I stopped myself. Yes, I was pissed, yes I wanted to release that anger by yelling at the source of my anger, but she didn't deserve to be yelled at so I stopped and walked away. It's ok. I can make the phone call again during her nap. It's fine.
So yeah. This blogger gets pissed off. This blogger has moments where some of that pissed off escapes. This blogger pulled it back and walked away before more could get out. Not a shining moment of parenting but not a horrible one either. Just another moment that we all have, no one bothers to really mention, but is a part of life.
It's nap time. I have a phone call to make again.