Pinterest play

So there are two main things that make me very uncomfortable in parenting toddlers - allowing them the freedom to get a few bumps and bruises, and anything that requires major clean up.  I'm working on extending my comfort zone in those two categories.

I'm proud to say that the girls were playing outside and far enough away from me during this last week of sunshine that Middie Biddie is sporting a couple of lightly skinned knees that she hasn't even noticed.  Yay!  I let her fall down!  Yeah, yeah, I'm pathetic, but I'm working on it.  Hopefully by the time they start forming memories, those memories will be of doing fun stuff rather than of Mommy trying to wrap them in bubble wrap.

Today I worked on my discomfort with major messes.  I found a recipe on Pinterest for "moon sand" and mixed some up last night.  1/2 cup baby oil and 4 cups of flour.  Makes for a soft sand that can be packed and shaped a little bit for sandcastles.  The girls aren't old enough yet to understand the concept of sand castles, but I thought they'd enjoy playing with it anyway.

We got ourselves an activity table last week partially so we could do messy play stuff and keep it somewhat contained.  I set them both on the table, gave them the bowl of sand and some dixie cups and let them go at it!  They had a grand time.  It was mostly just scooping and pouring and trying to catch what I would sprinkle out of my fingers, but they certainly enjoyed it.


Teeny Tiny had to make sure that a good pile ended up on the floor to see how committed I really was to letting them just play without stopping them from making a mess.

As far as Pinterest projects go, I think this was a good one.  There was some clean up of course, but it wasn't as bad as you might expect.  I was able to clean it up with just a broom and dustpan and it didn't take very long.  This project kept them entertained for about a half hour and then it was nap time.

I'm not very active on Pinterest, but if you'd like to follow me, here I am!

And I'm brought back down to earth

Showing off plastic bowl fashion
about a half hour before the carnage

Yeah, yesterdays post was a bit on the flying high side.  Middie Biddie decided that was enough of that and this evening barfed about a gallon of crap all over me.

It started with a small puke in the middle of the playroom that K dutifully cleaned up.  About a half hour later, I had her on my lap facing me when the floodgates opened and spewed forth.  And then spewed forth again.  And again for good measure.
K came and grabbed her off of me, and I grabbed the bottom of my shirt to hold as much of it as I could and toddled off to dump it into the toilet.  Then I just took the shirt off all together and threw it into the toilet as well to rinse off as much as I could, then I toddled off to the bathroom with the working shower to take off my jeans and rinse those off.  Then I even had to toss my underwear into the laundry because the vomit had soaked through my jeans and through my underwear.  I did a quick rinse of myself in the shower as best I could then threw a nightgown over my head so I could go back into the living room to help K.

Apparently while I was in the bathroom, she had barfed some more, Teeny Tiny had stepped in it and slipped a little bit, and now Teeny Tiny was going nuts.

Once Middie Biddie got it out of her system, she was actually perfectly fine.  Got her to do some giggling.  But Teeny Tiny was inconsolable!  She panicked, cried, and basically went ballistic for about 30 minutes!  Twin thing I guess?  I don't know.  Apparently she's just really empathetic.  She got upset when Elmo fell off his stilts too.  She sees someone else do something painful or scary and she reacts like it happened to her.

After the girls went to bed, we had to do some major cleanup.  My office chair got some of it and it's fabric.  Even though I've pulled out the carpet cleaner and steam cleaned it with the attachment thing, it still smells like vomit.  It's seen better days already so I might be shopping for a new chair.  We also had to steam clean the wood floor and of course do a dramatic load of laundry.

In unrelated news, I've done something to my thumb.  It's swollen and hurts, and makes it difficult to pick up the girls.  I've been icing it, but it really hurts!  Can hardly hold a cup.

Yesterday was a better day than today.

I still can't believe this is my life

Days like today are a shock to this bitter infertile's system.  I still can not believe I get to live like this now.  We're coming up on 2 years that I've been a mom and I still feel like it can't possibly be happening.  I actually get to have days like this!  I'm not just pretending, this is actually happening!  This is actually my life now!  I'm trying to put into words how it just seems surreal to me that only 3 years ago I was so desperate, so miserable, so afraid, so without hope and yet here I am, having days like today.

K got the girls up while I took a shower.  He gave them a small breakfast and then we packed them up for a big breakfast out.  The girls played with crayons at the table and dropped plenty of their food on the floor (we tip well).  We took a couple of walkabouts when the girls got antsy and needed to move, they each had a drum solo or two with their spoons when they were finished eating.  One needed a diaper change and K had to bring her back to me because there was no changing table in the mens room.  I take one in, do a diaper change, swap kids, do another change, and we head out while all the old people grinned and waved at our tiny twosome.

We finally had a nice sunny day here in the Pacific Northwest.  It's been warm enough that not everything was still waterlogged which totally negates the benefits of a nice sunny day.  We went to a park that's fully enclosed with a fence and we were the only ones there, so we were able to sit and let the girls roam without needing to do the helicopter parenting thing.

I'm trying to learn to let them figure things out themselves and to allow them to get a few bumps and bruises.  Part of our trip to the park was to practice that.  To sit on a bench and do nothing more than take pictures while the girls figured out what they wanted to do on their own.  Teeny Tiny went for the toys in the sandbox while Middie Biddie went exploring at top speed.  Letting them find their way without clearing the path is really hard for me, but I'm trying to get better at it.

Eventually we decided to introduce them to some toys that they couldn't get into without us like a rocking car.

We spent a good portion of our play time on the swings of course.

This is my life right now.  It's not just me, alone.  I'm one of four.

After the park and nap (Teeny Tiny slept, Middie Biddie chatted to her bear the whole time), they were in such a great mood!  We need to dose them with sunshine more often.  Middie Biddie just wanted to chat and laugh all evening.  She told me all her secrets, sometimes whispering them to me, just thrilled that I was listening.  I can't wait until those secrets are in English so I can understand them!

After plenty of play, stories, and secret sharing, we all had a nice dinner and we put the girls to bed.  As we hear Middie Biddie repeat "nigh nigh!!" over and over again (as in it's night night time), we close the door to their room and I'm so happy I just want to cry.  The "nigh nigh" fades out and they are both asleep with no fuss within minutes.

This is my life!  It's so simple, but it's so beautiful.  This is greatness.  My bipolar high school self can not believe I have achieved contentment.  My bitter infertile self can not believe I have achieved motherhood.  My self hating self can not believe I've achieved a happy marriage with someone who chose me and loves me.  I almost feel like I have whiplash from how dramatically my life has twisted and turned in the last 5 years.  Today was roses, so I'm here on my blog recording the smell.

Toddler play

We're there!  We're at the point that I always dreamed about.  They are old enough for more creative play and to really play with each other!  This is where parenting gets good.

Just look at those cute little toddler hands covering her eyes!