This isn't about losing weight. This isn't about recovering from pregnancy. This is about taking back something I haven't owned in a long time.
3 years. For 3 solid years, I've walked into doctors offices, dropped my pants, and had strangers poke and prod me in every undignified way a person can be poked and prodded.
With the exception of one more post partum medical exam in about a month, I finally get to regain ownership of my body. I don't think I realized what a toll it was taking to have so little control over simply getting to choose who would get to have access to my body every day. My body and I separated as entities, my body dragging me around from place to place that it had to get to for various appointments to be subjected to various indignities, and I waited for it to finish so it could take me someplace I actually wanted to go. But now, finally, my body is only going to go where I want it to go, and it's only going to be accessed by people of my own choosing. It belongs to me again.
Maybe that's what's really signalling the end of this particular infertility journey. I might have another one if we decide to try for another child in the future, but this journey is now over. I know, the poopy diapers and constant bottle washing should signal the end, but that's not really the case. That signals the start of a whole new journey.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Friday, June 22, 2012
Advantages of the NICU
Nobody wants their babies to be preemies or to end up in the NICU, and I certainly don't want to insult scared parents whose children are really struggling by writing a post that might seem glib. However, if the NICU is a reality that you have to face, at the end of the experience, there are a few things that aren't so terrible.
You get to meet your babies and learn about them so much earlier than most people do. Most people are so bleary eyed throughout the newborn stage that they don't get to remember much of it. Our kids will be little babies much longer extending the time you get to spend with your baby as a baby.
Hands on help while you recover from pregnancy and delivery! This one is huge! I was barely able to move and I didn't have to jump in to full time parenting while in pain. I know this seems really selfish, but I was on pain medications and the thought of dropping a baby because I was on a drug that I really did need, how horrible would that be?
They come home on a schedule. That hard work is done for you.
Every day you get to ask medical professionals any question about babies that ever occurs to you. I would be freaking out with confusion and "is this normal???" if I had gone home with a baby 2 days after birth.
They will actually teach you how to do things right. Like how to hold the baby for feedings and burps, etc.
You get to know exactly how much food, sleep, etc that your specific child needs in the weeks following release.
Just a few of the things that have occurred to me. I'll probably add more to the list, but the babies are probably waking up soon while I'm in the process of falling asleep.
Gratuitous baby pic!
You get to meet your babies and learn about them so much earlier than most people do. Most people are so bleary eyed throughout the newborn stage that they don't get to remember much of it. Our kids will be little babies much longer extending the time you get to spend with your baby as a baby.
Hands on help while you recover from pregnancy and delivery! This one is huge! I was barely able to move and I didn't have to jump in to full time parenting while in pain. I know this seems really selfish, but I was on pain medications and the thought of dropping a baby because I was on a drug that I really did need, how horrible would that be?
They come home on a schedule. That hard work is done for you.
Every day you get to ask medical professionals any question about babies that ever occurs to you. I would be freaking out with confusion and "is this normal???" if I had gone home with a baby 2 days after birth.
They will actually teach you how to do things right. Like how to hold the baby for feedings and burps, etc.
You get to know exactly how much food, sleep, etc that your specific child needs in the weeks following release.
Just a few of the things that have occurred to me. I'll probably add more to the list, but the babies are probably waking up soon while I'm in the process of falling asleep.
Gratuitous baby pic!
What would have been 37 weeks
Belly photos, why not?
 |
| 35 weeks |
 |
| 37 weeks |
And here's a hint when taking pictures of babies - Try to have a bright room and avoid the flash if possible. Brightening up the photo later is what Photoshop is for (when they hit high school and you have a few minutes to actually touch up photos). We keep the house pretty dark because my eyes are extremely light sensitive so this is a bit of an issue for us. However, it's still better to go too dark because, um, well here's the difference.
 |
| Without flash |
 |
| With flash |
Okey dokey. Off to start a blog page where I dump random little tidbits and ideas that I'm figuring out as I go along. Like how their cords came off today and it just doesn't seem right to allow a gooey belly button with a little bit of bleeding rub and stain what might be dirty clothing. So we took my disposable nursing pad and stuck it inside the onesie so the soft part is kind of protecting the belly button, if it gets wet, that circle of skin should remain relatively dry, and no blood stains on the onesie that I'm borrowing from the very generous Moms Of Multiples Preemie Closet.
Parenting Product I'm Loving - Baby ESP
OMG there's an app for that!!!
I'm not one to buy apps, I prefer the free selections, but this one rocks hard so we paid to have it on both of our phones. It's Baby ESP and it's saving our butts!
It started with my pain medication and pumping schedule. My pumping was every 2-3 hours and my meds were every 4 hours. I couldn't flippin keep track of why I made a mental note of 2pm, was that my last pump or my last dose of meds? I nearly overdosed a few times because I simply couldn't remember. This app allowed me to set up a reminder for each of those things, and it charts when you last did everything so you don't mess it up.
On the pumping, it tracks each breast, how much time you spend pumping it (I do both at the same time), and how much each breast yields in each pump. You can look at charts and statistics over time to see if your production is increasing well and how much you get per pump on average. Every thing you enter also has a notes section. Today I got a really good amount and I put in the notes "drank a ton of water between pumpings".
If nothing else, just the journal section of this app is worth it. While in the nicu, I was able to jot down a few thoughts (which you can pretty much read in my NICU Progress post) and even has a button for "daily photo". No time to do anything like a baby book right now so this is kind of keeping track of my thoughts and "stuff" that I might find sentimental in the future is going into a bucket to be sorted later.
Then Christina came home. We are able to track diaper changes, feedings, sleep, etc etc. I can't count how many times we refer to the app to figure out when we can expect a baby to wake up and be hungry again. Yes, you seriously do forget whether the baby fell asleep 1 or 2 hours ago.
So we got into a lovely habit of tracking everything baby before Charlotte came home. With 2, having a way of keeping track is just phenomenal. So when the doctor asks us "how much are they eating?" and my brain is going "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh", we can look it up.
Honestly, if I had a full term, standard newborn, I probably wouldn't worry so much about these details. I'm not one to be totally anal retentive. But when you have itty bitty preemies, you really do have to keep track of exactly how much they are eating and other such details. You don't have the luxury of allowing them to lose a little weight here and there as they figure things out. Wanna know how anal retentive I've gotten? We bought a baby scale so that when I try to nurse (we're working on it), I can weigh the baby before and after to get an idea of how much they actually took in so I know approximately how much bottle to give them before they sleep again. Yeah, I know. First time mom overboard. But we also have cats with weight issues so we have another use for the scale once this initial preemie stage of baby care is over and done.
Back to the app. The other great thing - it syncs between phones. During a wake cycle, I'll track one, he'll track the other, and before long both of our phones have all of the info. It's not all on one person to do all the tracking.
The app is about $5, but you have to repurchase it for every device you put it on. We each have it on our phones and consider it among the best $10 we ever spent.
I'm not one to buy apps, I prefer the free selections, but this one rocks hard so we paid to have it on both of our phones. It's Baby ESP and it's saving our butts!
It started with my pain medication and pumping schedule. My pumping was every 2-3 hours and my meds were every 4 hours. I couldn't flippin keep track of why I made a mental note of 2pm, was that my last pump or my last dose of meds? I nearly overdosed a few times because I simply couldn't remember. This app allowed me to set up a reminder for each of those things, and it charts when you last did everything so you don't mess it up.
On the pumping, it tracks each breast, how much time you spend pumping it (I do both at the same time), and how much each breast yields in each pump. You can look at charts and statistics over time to see if your production is increasing well and how much you get per pump on average. Every thing you enter also has a notes section. Today I got a really good amount and I put in the notes "drank a ton of water between pumpings".
If nothing else, just the journal section of this app is worth it. While in the nicu, I was able to jot down a few thoughts (which you can pretty much read in my NICU Progress post) and even has a button for "daily photo". No time to do anything like a baby book right now so this is kind of keeping track of my thoughts and "stuff" that I might find sentimental in the future is going into a bucket to be sorted later.
Then Christina came home. We are able to track diaper changes, feedings, sleep, etc etc. I can't count how many times we refer to the app to figure out when we can expect a baby to wake up and be hungry again. Yes, you seriously do forget whether the baby fell asleep 1 or 2 hours ago.
So we got into a lovely habit of tracking everything baby before Charlotte came home. With 2, having a way of keeping track is just phenomenal. So when the doctor asks us "how much are they eating?" and my brain is going "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh", we can look it up.
Honestly, if I had a full term, standard newborn, I probably wouldn't worry so much about these details. I'm not one to be totally anal retentive. But when you have itty bitty preemies, you really do have to keep track of exactly how much they are eating and other such details. You don't have the luxury of allowing them to lose a little weight here and there as they figure things out. Wanna know how anal retentive I've gotten? We bought a baby scale so that when I try to nurse (we're working on it), I can weigh the baby before and after to get an idea of how much they actually took in so I know approximately how much bottle to give them before they sleep again. Yeah, I know. First time mom overboard. But we also have cats with weight issues so we have another use for the scale once this initial preemie stage of baby care is over and done.
Back to the app. The other great thing - it syncs between phones. During a wake cycle, I'll track one, he'll track the other, and before long both of our phones have all of the info. It's not all on one person to do all the tracking.
The app is about $5, but you have to repurchase it for every device you put it on. We each have it on our phones and consider it among the best $10 we ever spent.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)