tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1574605296259081338.post8902904891460488243..comments2023-09-09T05:13:17.402-07:00Comments on First Time Twins: Just adopt! Yeah, just blow meAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03834196556216136587noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1574605296259081338.post-28187366194243553672012-09-16T13:47:40.313-07:002012-09-16T13:47:40.313-07:00I know a couple who - I am SO happy for as their j...I know a couple who - I am SO happy for as their judge decided the bio-father WAS unfit and now the baby IS finally theirs...but they had an almost similar situation...the birth mother wanted this couple to have her baby - birth father shows up (who, btw, was in jail for having strangled the birth mother...) and decided he wanted custody...after MONTHS of not knowing if this father WOULD get custody - the judge finally said "nope you are an unfit father" (btw, he had to be at the court hearing IN his orange jumpsuit and shackles!)<br />I thank God the justice system actually prevailed! Their daughter is now THEIRS! (the adoptive parents, that is)<br />But when people tell me to "just adopt" I tell them about this couple or the staggering $30,000 + it is to adopt, compared to the $10,000 we are paying for IVF.Lillyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07636258806265231840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1574605296259081338.post-96277679770384012012-08-13T10:03:23.609-07:002012-08-13T10:03:23.609-07:00When I hear people say that, I just turn to them a...When I hear people say that, I just turn to them and say "I would be happy to if you'll provide the $30,000 needed to cover the average, in country adoption cost." Which tends to make them get all bug-eyed and they make choking sounds, which allows me to follow up with "And the waiting list for parents to adopt an infant is, on average, 2 years. So there really aren't a lot of homeless babies out there."Tuliphttp://pursuingparenthood.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1574605296259081338.post-4497894838326534732012-08-13T07:05:41.561-07:002012-08-13T07:05:41.561-07:00That comment never fails to piss me off, for exact...That comment never fails to piss me off, for exactly those reasons. Not only is it hideously expensive and invasive in a psychological and social sense, and an invasion of privacy that "normal" people would never have to accept or endure to have their children, but there are also no guarantees. I now know two people who have experienced adoption loss, the closest thing to babyloss that someone whose child hasn't died can ever experience. My DH and I still want a genetic link to our kids, which is one reason why adoption is not on the table for us. We have one more shot for IVF with my eggs this fall, and if this experimental treatment fails, we will go running for donor eggs (I have a phone consult with the donor egg bank coordinator this week, in fact). <br /><br />I'm very sorry for your cousin's experience. I hope it all works out in the end. How very heartbreaking right now, though...Amy L.https://www.blogger.com/profile/17013013895577702357noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1574605296259081338.post-3169926658005788422012-08-12T18:37:08.485-07:002012-08-12T18:37:08.485-07:00Amen!!!! We did IVF, had a second trimester loss a...Amen!!!! We did IVF, had a second trimester loss and did adopt and prior to our son coming home, we too had a failed match. Both were deep losses... Hugs to your cousin because the road is just as tough.Aprilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16130818531506121807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1574605296259081338.post-19346223785344296642012-08-12T14:51:38.978-07:002012-08-12T14:51:38.978-07:00I keep telling family members, my parents included...I keep telling family members, my parents included who did adopt in the 60's, that it isn't that easy now to adopt.<br /><br />Just one more reason why I'm headed in the donor egg route next. At least I'll have a better chance of bringing home a baby.Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06316511791499949824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1574605296259081338.post-64018798503758381812012-08-12T14:44:47.178-07:002012-08-12T14:44:47.178-07:00Here here!!!Here here!!!Sometimeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12671391512819360236noreply@blogger.com